Episode 609: For want of a fig leaf

Adam and Eve are discussing the Fall, comparing their incomplete memories of what came before it. This is not a flashback. The Adam and Eve we see today are Frankenstein’s monsters, and they do not live in exile from Eden when the world was young, but in the town of Collinsport, Maine in 1968. The Fall they have in mind is the one that is also known as Autumn. Adam is ashamed, not because he is naked, but because Eve accuses him of preferring life in captivity. He is not naked at all, even though Eve walks in on him and sees his Harry Johnson. Harry Johnson is the man to whom Adam has entrusted a letter, but since Adam’s favorite pastime is studying the works of Sigmund Freud, and since by 1968 “johnson” had been a familiar English slang word for “penis” for over a century, he would likely have been the first to make the connection to the predicament of their Biblical namesakes.

Adam takes Eve to his old home, a dusty room in the long-deserted west wing of the great house of Collinwood. Heiress Carolyn hid him there for a period that seemed so long the audience might feel that the original Adam and Eve were probably still around when it started. Carolyn greets them there. She is happy to see Adam again and eager to befriend Eve. Adam wants that too, but Eve isn’t having it. She quarrels with Adam and storms out, leaving Carolyn in an awkward position.

On the terrace outside the great house, an unpleasant man named Peter who prefers to be called Jeff is waiting for his date, well-meaning governess Vicki. Vicki has kept him waiting for an hour. Vicki’s charge, young David, happens by. Peter/ Jeff immediately makes it clear why Vicki is in no hurry to see him. He greets David with an accusation that he was hiding from him. When David denies this, Peter/ Jeff demands that he tell him who he was hiding from. Peter/ Jeff may have forgotten who is a guest in whose house, but David hasn’t, and he turns to go. Peter/ Jeff stops him, asking “We’re friends, aren’t we?” David doesn’t explicitly agree that they are, but he stays.

Peter/ Jeff starts to talk about his plans to marry Vicki. David calls him “Peter,” and since the closest thing he has to a personality is his insistence on being called “Jeff” he grabs David and shakes him violently. Watching this scene today, my wife, Mrs Acilius, said one word- “Psycho.” She wasn’t talking about Peter/ Jeff, but about actor Roger Davis. When one character shakes another, it is usually the actor playing the shakee who makes all the movements, while the shaker just mimes the action without actually touching them. Not so Mr Davis- he really did rattle David Henesy around hard enough that it’s pure luck he didn’t give him a concussion. That’s typical of the approach Mr Davis took to his performances on Dark Shadows, in the course of which he assaulted several women on camera. Mr Henesy is uncharacteristically tense throughout this scene, does not sustain eye contact with Mr Davis, and when the scene ends he rushes off stage.

Roger Davis has his fun. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

In his dialogue, Peter/ Jeff makes some pretty bizarre remarks:

You know, David, pretty soon, you’re gonna find out that love isn’t something you can remember. Sixteen years old… You know when you’re sixteen, you can really love somebody. And then you come back ten years later and you wouldn’t even notice her.

At this, David gives Peter/ Jeff a look that accords with Mrs Acilius’ one word assessment of Roger Davis. “Love isn’t something you can remember”? Which item on the sociopathy screening test is that? And what does “Sixteen years old” have to do with anything? David is twelve, Peter/ Jeff and Vicki are in their twenties, no one mentioned the number sixteen. And David would be doing Vicki a solid if he told her that her fiancé won’t remember her in ten years.

David Collins wonders what the #%*^ is wrong with Peter/ Jeff, while David Henesy recovers from Roger Davis’ assault on him. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

David leaves, and Eve shows up. She recognizes Peter/ Jeff and addresses him as “Peter Bradford!” The closing credits start rolling before Peter/ Jeff can shake her violently while whining that he wants to be called “Jeff Clark.” Eve is the reincarnation of an eighteenth century homicidal maniac; she hasn’t killed anyone since she was brought to life the other day, and Peter/ Jeff would be an excellent choice for her first victim. If she does kill him, I would be “Team Eve” all the way.

Episode 608: The experts

Julia Hoffman, MD, is an authority on vampirism. We first saw her treating Maggie Evans, The Nicest Girl in Town, who was recovering from her time as the victim of vampire Barnabas Collins. Julia then met Barnabas and transferred her loyalties to him. She used her extraordinary abilities as a hypnotist to erase Maggie’s memories of her ordeal, and conducted an experiment meant to turn Barnabas back into a human.

That experiment failed, but subsequent intervention by another mad scientist did put Barnabas’ vampirism into remission. Since then, another vampire appeared and took Julia as his victim. Barnabas staked him and freed her. Now a third vampire is on the loose. She is Angelique, Barnabas’ ex-wife and once the witch who condemned him to the ranks of the undead in the first place. Angelique has two blood thralls at the moment. One is Barnabas himself. The other is Joe Haskell, formerly a hardworking young fisherman and fiancé to Maggie.

Yesterday Angelique told Joe she didn’t want him anymore. In response, he tried to kill himself. Seeing him bleeding to death, Angelique summoned Barnabas and ordered him to carry Joe off to the woods and leave him to die. Barnabas disobeyed her, and instead brought him back to his house, where Julia treats him.

Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Julia spots the puncture wounds on Joe’s neck. She figures out that he is a blood thrall and surmises that Angelique, whom she knows under the alias Cassandra, is the vampire. When Barnabas resists her inquiries, she becomes suspicious of him. At first she bluntly tells him that she wonders if he knows more than he is telling, but when he tries to dismiss her theory about Angelique/ Cassandra she backs away and claims that she is proceeding from “Intuition… I’ve no logical reason… I want to find a solution so badly that I’m willing to accept the idea of Cassandra Collins coming back.” Regular viewers know, not only that Julia has an abundance of logical reasons for her conclusions, but that she is a talented liar. We may well expect to find that she is entirely in control of the situation.

Barnabas brings Maggie over to talk with Joe. Longtime viewers will find this jarring. Joe is in the upstairs bedroom where Barnabas kept Maggie when she was his victim, and she briefly recovered her memory just two weeks ago. You might think that Barnabas and Julia would be taking a terrible risk by letting her see Joe suffer as she did in the room where she did. Oddly, she remembers seeing Joe with Angelique in #599, but does not remember what she knew then, that Angelique is a vampire and that Joe is going through what Barnabas put her through.

Later, Barnabas is alone with Joe when he regains consciousness. Joe figures out that Barnabas is Angelique’s new blood thrall. He vows to kill him, and we cut to the closing credits.

Episode 607: Bedtime

Suave warlock Nicholas Blair wakes Frankenstein’s monster Adam from a nightmare. As we have seen from night-time glimpses of fisherman Joe Haskell and the unpleasant Jeff Clark, it is standard for the young men of Collinsport to go to bed fully dressed, wearing coats, ties, and shoes. Adam is the youngest man around, having been brought to life just this May, but he is wearing pajamas.

Many commenters on fan boards assume that Adam has poor personal hygiene, perhaps because he has spent so much of his short life cooped up in hiding places without running water. But he lives in Nicholas’ house now, and unlike most characters, including Nicholas himself, he has two changes of clothing- the clothes that apparently came with the corpses from which he was assembled, a bright green sweater heiress Carolyn gave him, and his pajamas. So I think we ought to assume that he keeps himself clean.

Earlier this night, Nicholas sicced vampire Angelique on old world gentleman Barnabas Collins in order to keep Barnabas from interfering with his plans for Adam. But he discovers that Adam and Barnabas have a Corsican Brothers-type connection, so that puncture marks have appeared on Adam’s neck. Adam is also weakened, and afraid of Angelique. Nicholas concludes that Angelique will have to leave Barnabas alone. She is deeply disappointed when he tells her of this, but cannot argue, as it is almost dawn and she must get back in her coffin.

We then cut to the Blue Whale, where an unshaven Joe is drinking. Joe is another of Angelique’s victims, and as a result of her power over him has lost his job, his fiancée Maggie Evans, and his self-respect. We were first introduced to Joe in this room, back in #3. In those days, he was a hardworking young fisherman who was too sturdily honest to be tempted by a bribe to spy on the ancient and esteemed Collins family. We have seen him back on this set many times, usually as a stalwart representative of whatever is wholesome and rational. But today he is one of the old drunks leaning on the bar.

Maggie enters. She walks up to Joe. He does not react, and she starts to walk away. She turns back to him and says hello. They have a sad little chat. She says he almost seems to feel about her the way he used to; he says she has no idea how he feels. She tells him what she expects him to say, that he won’t be able to explain to her what’s going on with him; he confirms that it is so. He asks if she is there to meet Nicholas; she says she is, and asks if there is any reason she shouldn’t. He says he supposes not.

Nicholas enters. He asks Maggie if she would like to sit at the bar, but she indicates a table. Joe looks at them, and we hear his thoughts as he wishes he could explain what Angelique has done to him. This gains poignancy for regular viewers, not only because of the contrast between the broken-down figure we see today and the robust young man who so often modeled health and sanity on this same set previously, but also because less than two weeks ago, in #599, Maggie knew all about what Joe was going through. She and Joe were ready to run off together when Nicholas used his sorcery to mind-wipe their knowledge away and reset the story to its current dismal status quo.

Joe leaves the bar and goes to Nicholas’ house to call on Angelique. She is surprised to see him. She didn’t summon him, and she isn’t hungry. She tells him to go away. He says that he’s lost everything because of her, and that she is all he has left. She says he doesn’t have her either, because she is done with him. To make him even more miserable, she takes him to Nicholas’ magical mirror, which can be used to spy on whomever the user chooses, and shows Joe that Nicholas has walked Maggie home. Joe hears Maggie agree that she might fall in love with Nicholas, and watches them exchange a long, passionate kiss.

Joe asks Angelique if she cares that she has utterly ruined his life, to which she replies “Not particularly.” He says that he hates everything he has become, and that he despairs of ever being anything else. He picks up a letter opener intending to stab Angelique. Unable to bring himself to attack her, he sticks it into his own belly.

Angelique makes Joe feel like Mickey Mouse. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Joel Crothers was dissatisfied with the part of Joe and with Dark Shadows generally. In a couple of months, he will leave the show and take a role on another soap. Very few viewers would have been likely to know that was coming in 1968, but Joe was a popular character who was chronically underutilized. He would have had many fans who might have shared Joe’s fear that the show will leave him in the state to which this storyline has reduced him.

Episode 606: Hello, Barnabas

Vampire Angelique has bitten her onetime husband, old world gentleman Barnabas Collins, and brought him under her power. Barnabas asks if she plans to make him a vampire again, restoring the curse she placed on him when she was alive and they were married, 172 years before. Angelique is herself subordinate to suave warlock Nicholas Blair, and does not know what Nicholas’ plans are. All she can say in response is “Possibly.”

Barnabas keeps bringing up mad scientist Julia Hoffman and occult expert Timothy Eliot Stokes, who are waiting for him in his house. When Barnabas says that they will be suspicious if he does not return soon, Angelique replies “Let them be suspicious. It doesn’t matter to me.” When Barnabas asks what he can tell Julia and Stokes, Angelique replies “Tell them anything. Tell them the truth.” At that, a smile spreads across her face. We’ve already heard Julia ask Stokes what they will do if Barnabas is in trouble, and Stokes’ reply that there is nothing they can do. When Angelique suggests Barnabas tell Julia and Stokes the truth, her smile suggests that she has come to the same conclusion.

“Tell them anything. Tell them the truth.”

Angelique is usually so frantic in her manner and so monomaniacally focused on her goal that she does not seem to have any unspoken thoughts at all. But today she is tranquil, utterly satisfied with what she has done to Barnabas. “Tell them the truth” and the smile afterward are a turning point for the character. She has what she wants, and now something else is going on inside her head, something we would not have expected and can’t quite figure out.

It doesn’t last. A moment later, she is insisting that Barnabas must find a way to keep Julia and Stokes’ suspicions under control. But for a few seconds, a vista opened before us, and we caught a glimpse of an entirely new direction the show might take, both with Angelique’s character and with the relationship of a vampire to a victim. It even seemed possible that the alternately frenzied and glum secret-keeping that gives Dark Shadows its rhythm might give way to something entirely new. When that vista disappears, we find ourselves going back over some old familiar ground, but the sense of possibility does not quite leave us.

Angelique bites Barnabas twice today. Lara Parker was much shorter than Jonathan Frid, and the first time she bites him she has to get to his neck from a standing start with only a couple of seconds before the shot fades out to the opening titles. Her straining to get to her tiptoes was so obvious it made me and Mrs Acilius laugh out loud. But the second time, she comes at him from several feet away, and she takes the opportunity to make a sweeping turn and end with a balletic rise to en pointe, I believe using the rolling motion known as relevé. Frid helps Parker somewhat by bowing his head while Barnabas pleads with Angelique not to bite him. That one looks great.

Episode 605: Ordinary people like us

Recovering vampire Barnabas Collins has determined to let himself into a house occupied by suave warlock Nicholas Blair. He knows that Nicholas is harboring Frankenstein’s monsters named Adam and Eve, that Eve is the reincarnation of a homicidal maniac, and that Nicholas has sinister plans for the pair. Once in the house, he intends to kill Eve.

Most of the episode is taken up with Barnabas’ preparation for this mission. He works with his friends, mad scientist Julia Hoffman and occult expert Timothy Eliot Stokes, to ensure that Nicholas will be out of the house when Barnabas gets there. When he goes into the room where he expects to find Eve, Barnabas discovers that she is not there. Instead, he is greeted by his erstwhile wife, Angelique. Angelique is now a vampire. We end with her baring her fangs at him.

Beneath all the homicidal and fantastic elements is a classic situation of farce. A man sneaks into a house hoping to meet a young woman, only to come face to face with his ex-wife. There are several notes of intentional comedy. Keeping Nicholas distracted, Stokes gives him a long lecture about the history of the Collins family. When he starts in on the details of their shipping interests, Nicholas squirms, jumps up, and thinks of someplace else he ought to be. Stokes and Julia destroy that excuse, and Nicholas sinks sadly back into his chair, bracing himself to hear more.

It dawns on Nicholas he will have to listen to the rest of Stokes’ disquisition. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

When Barnabas first enters Eve’s room, he thinks he sees a figure in her bed, only to find that there are pillows piled up under the covers. Angelique pulled that on him in #403, and Julia did the same thing in #291. Longtime viewers are left wondering when he will fall for the same trick a fourth time.

I do wish writer Gordon Russell had called on his frequent collaborator Violet Welles for help with this one. There are four or five nice laughs, but the tone immediately subsides back to seriousness between them. Welles had a gift for glittering dialogue that could have kept us chuckling throughout.

Episode 604: The presence of death

In the great house of Collinwood, matriarch Liz lies unconscious on a sofa, stricken with a mysterious ailment. Well-meaning governess Vicki cannot find Liz’ pulse or heartbeat, and fears she may have died.

Vicki telephones the family doctor. Her boyfriend, an unpleasant man named Peter who prefers to be called Jeff, asks why she doesn’t call for permanent houseguest Julia Hoffman, MD. She explains Julia is at the Old House on the estate, home to old world gentleman Barnabas, and that there is no telephone there.

We cut to a bedroom where Barnabas and Julia are devising a plot to murder a woman named Eve. Since Vicki had said they were at the Old House, even longtime viewers will be unlikely to recognize this as Julia’s seldom-seen bedroom at the great house. She had been staying with Barnabas for a while; we might wonder if it is his bedroom, which we have never seen, or if she has a room of her own at his house now.

Julia has a hypodermic needle and plans to fill it with a concoction that will induce a heart attack and immediately dissolve in the bloodstream. This was the weapon Julia prepared for the first murder she and Barnabas committed together, when they killed Dr Dave Woodard in #341. Julia was all broken up about that, but then she and Dave were old med school classmates. Eve is just an undead abomination they whipped up in the laboratory, not a colleague, so Julia is relaxed and smiling this time. Her smile vanishes, though, when the topic turns to Barnabas’ intention to let himself into the house where Eve is staying. It is the home of suave warlock Nicholas, a formidable adversary, and Julia fears he may be walking into a trap.

Julia and Barnabas go downstairs and find Vicki and Peter/ Jeff with the unconscious Liz. Julia examines Liz and pronounces her dead. Seconds later, Liz sits up and starts talking. This is the second death pronouncement Julia has made in the last few days; in #592, which in dramatic time is supposed to have been last night, she declared Liz’ daughter Carolyn dead. Carolyn showed up alive and well a little later, so you might wonder if Julia will wait for an EEG reading next time.

Julia has a nightmare in which it turns out she was right and Barnabas did fall into a trap at Nicholas’ house. They do all the dialogue in recorded voiceover, a device they’ve been exploring lately, and shoot the whole thing through a gauzy filter. The recorded voiceover is OK, but the filter is pretty bad- it just looks like they needed to clean the lens. They even shoot the closing credits through the same greasy smudges. The result is far from satisfactory.

Screenshot by DSCredits.

I left a comment on Danny Horn’s post about this episode on Dark Shadows Every Day. I note that Roger Davis, the actor who plays Peter/ Jeff, was in his usual form in this one:

When Barnabas sees Jeff kissing Vicki, he reacts with alarm and rushes out. We were alarmed too- Alexandra Moltke looked excruciatingly uncomfortable during the the first kiss. We almost expected her to call out to Barnabas to rescue her from the second.

Also, at the beginning of the episode Jeff is supposed to feel for Elizabeth’s heartbeat, so Roger Davis helps himself to a handful of Joan Bennett’s left breast. Classy guy…

Comment by “Acilius,” left at 12:13 PM Pacific Time 29 September 2020 on “Episode 604: The Sedating Game,” Dark Shadows Every Day, 13 March 2015.

Episode 603: Almost on the point of believing it

Today is devoted to non-supernatural stories. More precisely, we should call them post-supernatural, because they show people dealing with the aftermath of spells and curses.

The episode consists largely of solo performances. As troubled matriarch Liz, Joan Bennett has two scenes in which she is alone with her own voice in a recorded monologue. Dark Shadows has long used these monologues when characters were alone on screen and their faces would silently show how they felt about the thoughts their voices expressed on the soundtrack, but recently it has been experimenting with new ways of deploying them. For example, #581 marked the first time this device was used to share the thoughts a character was having in the middle of a conversation. Today Liz has a remarkably intense debate with her own recorded voice, first in her bedroom, later in an old graveyard.

Some time ago, wicked witch Angelique cast a spell causing Liz to be obsessed with death. Since then, Angelique lost her power and died. But Liz had been the victim of similar spells before, and is prone to depression in any case, as witness the fact that she once holed up in her house for eighteen years. So even if the spell broke when Angelique was de-witched, it makes sense Liz would continue to suffer the psychological damage it inflicted on her.

Between Liz’ two solo scenes, her brother Roger knocks on her bedroom door, This scene lasts less than a minute, but Louis Edmonds shows us a variety of emotions as he talks to Liz through the door, then opens it and finds she is not there. His discovery that he was giving a soliloquy when he thought he was having a conversation makes for a different kind of solo scene.

The other post-supernatural story concerns well-meaning governess Vicki and her ex-fiancé, an unpleasant man named Peter who insists on being called Jeff. Angelique became a vampire after her most recent death, and for a time she took Peter/ Jeff as her victim. The effects of the vampire’s bite made it impossible for Peter/ Jeff to sustain his relationship with Vicki. Peter/ Jeff has been freed from Angelique’s influence, and even his memory of the experience has been erased. Today he comes to ask Vicki to take him back. But he can explain nothing to her about what happened to him. Vicki is frustrated with Peter/ Jeff. Feeling that he does not trust her enough to tell her what happened, Vicki rejects Peter/ Jeff’s attempt at reconciliation. Alexandra Moltke Isles plays Vicki’s frustration with great force. Considering that her scene partner is the lamentable Roger Davis, this, too, qualifies as a solo performance.

Dark Shadows never had more than three credited writers producing scripts at a time. Often it had only two, and there were stretches when a single writer would have to crank out a script every day for weeks. Since they worked under those conditions, the writers’ methods would often be made obvious. So, Art Wallace, who was credited as the writer of the first 40 episodes, started by crafting the structure of an episode, and fitted incidents and information into that structure as time permitted. Ron Sproat, another very prolific contributor, also put structure first, sometimes resulting in a slow-paced script. Today’s author, Gordon Russell, seems to have taken the opposite approach, cramming each script with action and letting the material shake itself out as best it could. So there is some interesting stuff in this one that doesn’t really connect to anything.

For example, we open today with Liz contemplating an architects’ model of a mausoleum. It really is a lovely little thing.

We have a scene where Vicki is horrified by the idea of the mausoleum. Liz insists Vicki be her voice after her death and stand up to her family for her, seeing to it that she is buried in the mausoleum as she wishes. The show hinted very heavily for a long time that Vicki is Liz’ unacknowledged daughter, but they dropped that a long time ago. As it stands, Vicki is a member of the household staff. As such, she would put herself in an awkward position were she to oppose the family’s wishes after Liz’ death.

Roger enters, demands that Liz forget about everything related to death, and smashes the model. That’s all very dramatic, but it doesn’t make any sense. Though he might well be distressed at Liz’ fixation on the idea that she will soon be buried alive, everyone dies eventually, and rich people often build elaborate mausoleums. Roger’s assertion that the architects must think they are humoring an insane woman and the villagers are all laughing at her is just as nonsensical as his domineering attitude is unconnected to his character as it has been developed up to this point. All of it is entirely irrelevant to the progress of the story.

After that, Liz leaves the room, and Roger talks to Vicki for a bit. He says that Liz’ trouble seemed to start when he married a woman named Cassandra. Unknown to him, Cassandra was actually Angelique in a wig. He tells Vicki “We’ve never been very lucky in love, you and I, have we?,” and edges closer to her. This may come as a bit of a jolt to longtime viewers. In the early days of Dark Shadows, there were a few hints that Vicki and Roger, who are after all modeled on Jane Eyre and Mr Rochester, might strike up a romance. Since they are both single, all of a sudden it seems possible they might get together after all.

Later, Roger and Peter/ Jeff are outdoors looking for Liz. Each of them shines his flashlight directly into the camera. This is a Dark Shadows trademark. Sometimes it is clearly accidental; Peter/ Jeff does it once, briefly, and that may be an accident. But Roger does it twice, and each time the camera lingers on it. The first time comes as we cut from Liz in the graveyard to Roger and Peter/ Jeff, the second time as we dissolve from them back to Liz.

Cut to a closeup on Roger’s flashlight
Peter/ Jeff accidentally shines his flashlight directly into the camera
Dissolve to Liz from a second closeup on Roger’s flashlight

Liz is at the grave of Peter Bradford, which is to say Peter/ Jeff. He died in the 1790s and returned from the dead in March, a fact which is obvious to the audience and to Vicki but which he persistently denies. These denials are pointless and dull, but are the closest thing Peter/ Jeff has to a personality, so we can’t very well blame him for sticking to them. Peter/ Jeff finds Liz at his grave; she recognizes him as the dead man and faints. He carries her home. If there is any significance to any of this, it is apparently none of the audience’s business. The script certainly isn’t going to show us what it is.

Episode 602: Someone who will make you happy to be a vampire

Frankenstein’s monster Adam came to life in #485, and has been cooped up in one cage after another ever since. Last week a mate was created for him and given the name Eve. Eve hates Adam, and today tells him that she will kill him as soon as she can. Adam is getting pretty tired of the whole thing.

Adam’s latest keeper is suave warlock Nicholas. Nicholas masterminded the creation of Eve because he hopes she and Adam will make Frankenbabies, founding a humanoid species that will owe its creation to Satan. Adam doesn’t know about Nicholas’ allegiance to the Devil or about his plans, but he is sick of taking his orders. The two quarrel at the beginning of today’s episode. Nicholas quiets Adam by showing off one of his magical gimmicks. Hanging on his wall is a device that is usually a mirror, but that can be switched over to function as a closed circuit television focused on anyone he chooses. Today, he wants to know where his unruly subordinate, vampire Angelique, has wandered off to.

Nicholas and Adam look into the mirror, where we see Angelique at the bedside of an unpleasant man named Peter who prefers to be called Jeff. She is about to bite Peter/ Jeff, contrary to Nicholas’ rules for her diet. We zoom in, and the scene from the mirror takes over our own screen. After a moment, Nicholas is there too, stopping Angelique and scolding her for disobeying his nutrition guidelines. It’s too bad we didn’t see Nicholas step into the mirror, like Buster Keaton in Sherlock, Junior, but you can’t have everything.

After Angelique obeys Nicholas’ command to leave Peter/ Jeff’s apartment, Nicholas puts Peter/ Jeff back to bed. He casts spells on him to cause him to forget his encounters with Angelique and to heal from the effects of them. While he was doing this, my wife, Mrs Acilius, was talking to the screen, pleading with Nicholas to cast a spell on Roger Davis to give him some acting ability. Shortly after that, Mr Davis delivered some more lines, making it instantly clear that Nicholas had no such power.

Back at Nicholas’ house, Adam is fuming that Nicholas switched the mirror back to reflecting mode just as the show was getting interesting. In the room with him, and she is too bored for words. The two of them have a rough physical confrontation, and Adam locks her up in the basement. Eve has the memories and personality of Danielle Roget, an eighteenth century homicidal maniac whom Nicholas conjured up to animate Eve. He first brought her out of Hell in a ceremony he conducted in this basement; when Adam takes her there, she is terrified he will send her back. Eve is so impatient with Adam’s naivete that it is startling to see her overestimate his knowledge of the situation.

Adam and Eve fight. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Nicholas comes home and has another chat with Adam. Angelique enters the room and announces that it is almost dawn. Nicholas dismisses Adam. Angelique expects to be punished for her unauthorized attacks on Peter/ Jeff, but Nicholas tells her that he has a job she will like. He wants her to bite old world gentleman Barnabas Collins and enslave him. Since Angelique has been obsessed with Barnabas since the 1790s, this assignment delights her.

*Peter/ Jeff is fully dressed, in a coat, tie, and shoes, by the way. That’s the bedtime uniform for young men in Collinsport, as for Angelique’s other victim, the recently unemployed Joe Haskell.

Episode 601: Neither of us is a match

Recovering vampire Barnabas Collins and mad scientist Julia Hoffman are wearing complementary gray outfits today. Julia has a yellow blouse under her gray jacket; Barnabas’ shirt is white, but his tie is flecked with yellow florets that match Julia’s top. Barnabas and Julia have been inseparable for some time, but this is the first time they have coordinated their outfits. I suspect director Lela Swift and wardrobe mistress Ramse Mostoller collaborated to emphasize Barnabas and Julia’s bond.

I don’t know how Julia’s blouse shows up on your screen, but I assure you it is yellow and it matches the bits in Barnabas’ tie.
As Julia’s outfit mirrors Barnabas’ so the ring in his portrait above the mantel mirrors the one on his finger.

In separate scenes, we see heiress Carolyn and Frankenstein’s monster Adam. Adam is in love with Carolyn, and she has recently started admitting that she has deeper feelings for him than she had once believed herself capable of. Each of them wears a bright green sweater today. Adam’s sweater was a gift from Carolyn; perhaps she bought them as a matching set.

There’s also some back and forth involving unsightly ex-convict Harry Johnson and suave warlock Nicholas Blair. Their outfits are unique, which is no surprise. They are disconnected not only from each other, but also from the other characters, because they stand at opposite extremes in the story. Nicholas has the most complete understanding of what is going on and the most ability to affect events, Harry the least of both those things. Harry tries to sell Nicholas some information; Nicholas isn’t interested in paying him. A threat on his lips, Harry goes to leave Nicholas’ house. He finds that he can’t open the door. Within seconds of trying to frighten Nicholas into submission, Harry starts begging him to come open the door. That leads to some magic tricks which show just how ridiculously far out of his depth Harry is in his attempt to strong-arm Nicholas. Granted, Harry was out of his depth earlier in the episode when he tried to play hardball with Carolyn, so you’d think he’d have developed a sense of his limitations by now.

Episode 600: A woman does not like to be thought of in those terms

Suave warlock Nicholas Blair is entertaining two guests in his home. They are Frankenstein’s monsters. The man is named Adam; in the 22 weeks since he came to life, Adam has learned to speak fluent English, to play chess, and to discuss the writings of Sigmund Freud, but he is still very unsure in his dealings with other people. Desperate to be loved but quick to resort to violence, he always winds up taking orders from someone or other.

The woman is named Eve. Created to be Adam’s mate, she came to life only in #596, but has all the memories and personality of Danielle Roget, a homicidal maniac who lived in France and America in the late eighteenth century. Her connection to Danielle was the result of Nicholas’ doing; when he learned of Adam’s existence, Nicholas decided to use him to found a new humanoid species, a race who would owe their existence to Satan rather than to God. In furtherance of that plan, Nicholas said in #575 he wanted to infuse Adam’s mate with the spirit of “the most evil woman who ever lived,” and he settled on Danielle as that woman.

We see today that Nicholas has over-egged his pudding. The thoroughly sincere Adam bores Eve/ Danielle to tears. She can barely stand to look at him while he tries to woo her, and sends him off to bed. She approaches Nicholas and suggests that he become her lover, preferably after she has killed Adam. Nicholas is amused by the idea, but tells Eve/ Danielle that unless she sticks with Adam, he will kill her. If Nicholas wants the two of them to found a whole new breed of creatures who will subdue the Earth for the Devil, he probably should have picked a woman whose vices ran less to violence and more to lust.

Shortly after Eve/ Danielle came to life, a wind blew into the room where she was staying, indicating that a ghostly visitor had come to her. She addressed it as “mon petit” and said “I will not go back.” Today, the same visitor appears at the Old House on the great estate of Collinwood, home of recovering vampire Barnabas Collins. The ghostly wind knocks a book off Barnabas’ shelf written in 1798 by one Philippe Cordier. Occult expert Timothy Eliot Stokes is visiting Barnabas and Barnabas’ inseparable friend, mad scientist Julia Hoffman. Stokes decrees that the three of them must hold a séance at once.

When there is a séance on Dark Shadows, there are three indispensable roles. There must be someone who gives instructions and supervises the proceedings, usually with considerable gruffness. The first time a séance was held in this room, using this table, was in #186, back in March 1967. Well-meaning governess Vicki was the supervisor that time, and it was startling to see her cast aside her demure manner to take the same gruff tone others would adopt in that role. It is not unusual for Stokes to be gruff, but since Julia and Barnabas have both attended multiple séances before, his tone will strike regular viewers as unnecessary.

The second indispensable role is that of medium. That role falls to Barnabas today. He passes out and starts moaning. At this point the third role comes into play. It is Julia who must express alarm and try to break the trance. As supervisor, Stokes must then sternly rebuke her and insist that the dead be allowed to speak through the medium.

Ready for yet another séance. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Barnabas speaks a few phrases in French, as Vicki had spoken in French when the spirit of the gracious Josette possessed her in Dark Shadows’ very first séance, in #170 and #171 in February of 1967. He also speaks English with a French accent. Some fans like to poke fun at Jonathan Frid for the French accent that comes out of Barnabas’ mouth today, as indeed some liked to poke fun at Alexandra Moltke Isles for the accent that came out of Vicki’s. To those people I can only say, if those accents sound funny to you, just go to France- you will laugh all day long, because that’s how French people actually talk.

Through Barnabas, Philippe Cordier says that he has been lonely since Danielle’s spirit left him to return to the world of the living. Combined with Eve/Danielle’s refusal to “go back,” this implies that Philippe is Danielle’s boyfriend in Hell. He vows to kill “the man who says he loves her,” viz Adam, which seems illogical- if he wants her to leave the upper world and come back to him in Hell, he could achieve that simply by killing her. If he wants to punish the person who took her away from him, again Adam is the wrong target- it was Nicholas who picked Danielle. Adam had nothing to do with it. But Philippe, even though he was a published author when he was alive, is not an intellect now, only a spirit seeking vengeance. He is raw energy untrammeled by mind, and there is no reasoning with him.

Frid’s turn as Philippe is impressive. We’ve seen Barnabas in many moods, but he always has something to lose and almost always has something to hide. Frid often said that he played him as, first and foremost, a liar. But there is nothing disingenuous about Philippe. He is pure rage. In this tiny performance, Frid embodies that rage, and does not at all remind us of Barnabas.

Adam and Barnabas have a mystical connection that gives them a Corsican Brothers relationship. So far we have only seen this in action twice, both times when Barnabas was suffocating and Adam had trouble breathing. It does not work consistently, and it is not clear if Barnabas will suffer any of Adam’s pain. Indeed, when Adam fell off a cliff and nearly died, it didn’t bother Barnabas a bit. But apparently the bond does in fact go in both directions. When, after the séance, Philippe goes to Nicholas’ house and starts strangling Adam, Barnabas also starts choking.

In February and March of 1967 Dark Shadows was still aimed mostly at an adult audience made up of people who were impressed that the cast included Joan Bennett. But this episode demonstrates how completely it has since become a kids’ show. The first two séances resulted from long preparation, involved great effort, and produced tantalizingly vague, elusive messages. But this time around, the characters see signs of a ghost, Stokes immediately declares it’s time for a séance, and within two minutes Philippe Cordier is complaining about how he has to put himself back on the dating market of the damned. My wife, Mrs Acilius, pointed out that this is like something you would see in a story written by a small child. If the barrier between the dead and the living is inconvenient to the progression of the story, then you throw it out the window and proceed as if you could call up a ghost and have a conversation any time you wanted.