Episode 706: What it was to be a Collins

Yesterday, we were in the great house on the estate of Collinwood when dying nonagenarian Edith Collins met mysterious newcomer Barnabas Collins. She told Barnabas that she recognized him. Edith had been entrusted with the Collins family’s darkest secret, which was about Barnabas. He is a vampire, entombed in the 1790s to be kept forever away from the living. Now it is 1897, and Edith sees that the family has failed. She must tell the secret to her eldest grandchild, Edward Collins. Edward comes into the room and Edith tries to tell him what has happened. She has difficulty speaking. Edward asks Barnabas to excuse them. He replies “Of course,” and leaves the room. He does stand at the door and listen to their conversation, apparently waiting to see if Edward will come out with a crucifix and a sharpened stake.

Today, we find that Edith was so shocked by the sight of Barnabas that she has lost her sense of her surroundings. Barnabas was kept in a chained coffin in an old family mausoleum, and Edith does manage to say the word “mausoleum” to Edward, but that’s as far as she gets with the secret. Thereafter, she weaves in and out of the moment, reliving several periods of her life, some as far back as the time of her wedding to Edward’s grandfather.

At the word “mausoleum,” Barnabas rushes back to the Old House on the estate, where he has been staying. He tells his unwilling servant, a woman named Magda Rákóczi, that she must fetch her husband Sandor and that she and Sandor must go to the mausoleum at once, take the coffin out of the secret chamber where it is hidden, leave no trace of any kind in the chamber, and carry the coffin to the house. Magda points out one of several facts that make it impossible to comply with these orders, which is that Sandor is in town where Barnabas sent him. Barnabas refuses to acknowledge this or any other insuperable difficulties, and goes back to the great house.

While Barnabas is sitting in the drawing room clenching his fists on the armchair where he is waiting to see what Edward will do when he learns that he is a vampire, a hidden panel opens and a man carries a pistol into the room. The man holds the pistol at Barnabas’ head and demands he tells him who he really is. The man identifies himself as Carl Collins, one of Edward’s brothers. Barnabas yields nothing. The man discharges the pistol, from which emerges a flag labeled “Fib.” He laughs. Barnabas is not amused. The audience may not share Carl’s sense of humor either, but the subsequent scene in which Carl claims to see that Barnabas has a kind face, predicts that the two of them will become close friends, and offers to let him borrow the pistol and play jokes with it himself, is hilarious. Jonathan Frid plays Barnabas’ icy reaction to Carl perfectly, and as Carl John Karlen does not betray the least glimmer of awareness of Barnabas’ affect.

Barnabas does not enjoy Carl’s greeting. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Carl goes to the Old House to call on Magda. The scene there begins with Magda showing her palm to Carl. He wants her to read the Tarot cards; she says the cards will not speak unless she has money in her hand. Like his siblings, Carl is convinced that the secret which Edith keeps and which she has vowed to disclose only to Edward is the key to control of the family fortune. Magda knows better, but she goes through the cards anyway. They tell her that the family’s fortune is even larger than anyone knows, that when Edith’s will is found it will come as a surprise to everyone, that the surprise will lead to murder, and that the person who inherits the money will not keep it. The Queen of Cups turns up in a position that indicates Edith is still in control, but the last card Magda draws leads her to gasp and stand. She reels about the room, and declares that Edith is dead. “The cards are silent.”

Back in the house, Edward lets Barnabas into Edith’s room. He closes his grandmother’s eyes, and tells Barnabas that she did not tell him the secret. He vows to learn the secret even “if it’s the last thing I do!” We cut to Barnabas, looking uncomfortable. No doubt he is thinking of how inconvenient it would be if Edward were to find out the secret and he had to see to it that it was indeed the last thing he ever did.

This is the sixth consecutive installment to which I have given the “Genuinely Good Episode” tag, a record so far. Like the preceding five, it is stuffed with wonderful things. The acting is all very very good. Isabella Hoopes does a marvelous job as the delirious Edith, as Edward Louis Edmonds gives a master class in how to play a stuffy man, and the pairings of Grayson Hall, John Karlen, and Jonathan Frid with each other all unfold brilliantly, full of laughs but never losing their dramatic tension. So many of the episodes fans most enjoy would be drab for people coming to the show for the first time that it is always a memorable occasion when we see one like this, that anyone should be able to recognize as an outstanding half hour of television. It’s true the visual side lets us down a little; even by the standards of 1960s daytime television, the color is murky and there are too many closeups. But Sam Hall’s script and the performances are so good that no fair-minded person will complain very much about those problems.

Fans will take a special interest in Edith’s ramblings. When it first aired, viewers had no way of knowing how much of what she says about the family’s history will be reflected in upcoming episodes. The writers themselves probably didn’t have a much clearer idea about that than we do. But watching the series through for the first time, our default assumption about each of her lines is that it will have some significance as we go, so if we are committed to watching the show we listen closely.

We’ve already learned that Edith is over 90, so the very latest she could have been born is 1807. More likely she was born a bit before that, sometime between 1801 and 1806. She says today that her father-in-law was Daniel Collins. From November 1967 to March 1968, Dark Shadows was set in the late 1790s, and we saw Daniel. He was about 11 in 1795, so he would have been born in 1784 or thereabouts. So he could have been no more than 23 years old when Edith was born. Presumably his son Gabriel was the same age as his bride, though he might have been significantly younger. Edith does say that she always hated Daniel; perhaps she was a good deal older than Gabriel, and Daniel disapproved of her initially for that reason.

Edith tells us that Gabriel has been dead for 34 years, placing his death date in late 1862 or early 1863. She does not mention his cause of death or say anything about their son who was the father of Edward, Carl, and the others. It is firmly fixed that Edward and Carl’s brother Quentin was born in 1870, so Gabriel’s son must have survived him by several years.*

Edith says several times that the secret has been passed down from generation to generation and that she must tell it to Edward because he is the oldest. That seems to imply that Daniel told his oldest child, whom we presume to have been Gabriel, and that Gabriel told his oldest child, whom we presume to have been the unnamed father of Edith’s four grandchildren. He would then have told Edith before he died, either because Edward was not yet old enough to hear it, or because he was not available at the time.

But that implication is not at all secure. Edith says that Edward must be the keeper of the secret because he is the oldest- she doesn’t say what the connection is between being the oldest and keeping the secret. For all we know, she could have decided on her own to invent that tradition, starting with Edward and continuing with Edward’s oldest child. And when she says that it was passed down from generation to generation, she does not specify how many generations have been involved or which member of each generation did the passing. All we know is that someone of one generation learned it from someone else of a different generation, and that Edith believes it is the family’s responsibility to keep Barnabas from preying upon the living.

In a comment on Danny Horn’s post about episode 705 on Dark Shadows Every Day, someone calling himself “Mike” had a very interesting theory:

I think it’s reasonable to assume that sometime between 1897 and 1967 the secret was lost and not continually passed down. Perhaps in the original timeline Quentin was successful in killing Edith before Edward arrived, or maybe Edward died later in life before he was able to pass it on.

As far as Joshua passing the secret on, maybe he did, or maybe it was the elderly Ben Stokes who started the tradition?

Joshua was Barnabas’ father, and Ben Stokes was a much-put-upon indentured servant who was Barnabas’ devoted friend. They were the two people who knew that Barnabas was a vampire and that he was entombed in the secret chamber of the mausoleum. I replied to “Mike”:

I love that idea. Edith’s desire to tell the oldest son may lead us to assume that it has been handed down to the oldest son generation after generation, and it does lead the “Fab Four”** to assume that it brings with it some kind of power and access to riches. But their assumption is wrong, and ours may also be. Perhaps Joshua never told anyone. Perhaps the first person to tell the secret was Ben Stokes, and the person he told was Edith.

The scene between Barnabas and Magda brought another question to my mind. In #334, Barnabas was able to lock the panel in the mausoleum that leads to the secret room. Why doesn’t he just do that? It has also been made clear that as a vampire he is far stronger than are humans- if he wants to move the coffin from the mausoleum to the Old House, surely he could pick it up himself and do it more quickly and with less risk of detection than could Magda and Sandor. My wife, Mrs Acilius, agrees that we don’t know why Barnabas doesn’t lock the panel, but she says that it is perfectly clear why he can’t move the coffin- that is manual labor, and he is an aristocrat. His servants must do that.

*In a later episode, Quentin will mention that he knew Gabriel, throwing the 1862/3 date into question. But they never get around to any stories that depend on anything that happened in Gabriel’s later years. By the time we get to that one, only obsessive fans will remember his name. Eventually we meet two characters named Gabriel Collins, one in episodes that will air in 1970 and the other in the 1971 film Night of Dark Shadows, but a death date in the 1860s is not relevant to anything we learn about either of them.

**The “Fab Four” are Edith’s grandchildren, Edward, Carl, Quentin, and their sister Judith.

Episode 661: The secret of the chained coffin

Sometime vampire Barnabas Collins tells his best friend, mad scientist Julia Hoffman, what happened on the night in the 1790s when his father chained him in his coffin, not to be released until 1967. This story is told to the audience by a series of clips taken from episodes 456-460, with voiceover narration by Barnabas.

Barnabas wants to travel back in time to prevent one of the disasters that took place that night, the hanging of well-meaning governess Victoria Winters. He tells Julia that when he first lived through the events, he wasted his time murdering roguish naval officer Nathan Forbes. If he can get back, he will let Nathan live, but force him to help save Vicki.

At the end, Barnabas feels that he is being pulled to the past. He steps away from Julia and strikes a pose fitting for someone who is about to fade from the screen. He does not fade, but Julia and her surroundings do. We zoom in for a closeup. As we do, we hear the sound of dogs howling. Barnabas opens his mouth, and we see that he is once more a vampire.

Barnabas is surprised to see that Julia, not he, figures in the special effect. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Vicki’s presence in the 1790s was the result of her own displacement from 1967 beginning with episode 365. She traded places with the original governess, a woman named Phyllis Wick. Barnabas saw Phyllis and recognized her when she appeared in Vicki’s place, and after Vicki’s return he was bewildered by her story. But today he tells the story of the fateful night as if he remembers Vicki. Perhaps the same things happened to Phyllis, and he is just filling in Vicki’s name.

As a clip show, this is the first to feature two names in the closing credits under “written by.” It should feature three- Gordon Russell and Sam Hall get credit for the clips from episodes 456, 457, and 458, but it also includes material from 459 and 460, written by Ron Sproat. The credits also fail to mention that Jonathan Frid played Barnabas, and for that matter the opening title doesn’t appear until after the closing credits, so I suppose Sproat was in good company.

Episode 649: Why did that music stop?

Cavada Humphrey plays Madame Janet Findley, a medium who has come to the great house of Collinwood and is doing battle with the ghost of Quentin Collins. This battle takes the form of Humphrey alone in a room arguing with a series of inanimate objects. The only bipedal presence with whom she shares any of the ten minutes she is on camera is that ever-faithful member Dark Shadows’ supporting cast, a skeleton wearing a wig. Her most intense scenes are with Quetin’s record player.

Madame Findley gives Quentin’s record player a piece of her mind. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Humphrey’s style was more like pantomime or puppetry than it was like anything native to screen acting; she strikes a series of poses, and tells the story through them, producing the dialogue as a sort of incidental accompaniment. She has such a complete mastery of this approach that she could hold the audience’s interest for any length of time, regardless of what she had to do or with whom she had to do it. Unfortunately, today is her final appearance- at the end of the episode, Madame Findley falls down the stairs in the foyer of Collinwood, dead.

Madame Findley’s scenes give Humphrey about half the episode’s running time. Most of the rest is taken up with chatter between matriarch Elizabeth Collins Stoddard, who is worried about Madame Findley, and permanent houseguest Julia Hoffman, MD, who is not.

There are also two scenes with mysterious drifter Chris Jennings. In the first, Chris is in his apartment, dreading the upcoming full moon and feeling guilty about a barmaid he killed during the last one. We know that Chris is a werewolf. Chris’ cousin Joe Haskell knocks on the door and insists he be let in. He tells Chris that he will be leaving town soon, probably forever. Joe chastises Chris for spending so little time with his little sister Amy, who has been staying at Collinwood. Joe mentions that when he was visiting Amy earlier to pass on Chris’ message that he was yet again too busy to see her, she saw a pentagram on his face. Chris knows this means that he will be the werewolf’s next victim, and he is horrified.

Joe has been on the show since #3. From November 1967 to March 1968, Dark Shadows was a costume drama set in the 1790s, and actor Joel Crothers played roguish naval officer Nathan Forbes. Both as Joe and as Nathan, Crothers has been a mainstay of the show’s appeal, even more so than the bewigged skull. He is about to leave the cast, and he deserves a spectacular exit followed by a huge and long-lasting display of grief. A fatal werewolf attack would fit the bill, especially since the werewolf is, in his human form, one of Joe’s closest relatives and dearest friends. If they play their cards right, Chris could be mournful and racked with guilt about Joe’s death for the rest of the show’s run, even if that goes for decades.

Later, Joe drops by Collinwood to see Julia. Julia specializes in treating monsters, vampires and Frankensteins particularly, so if Chris had disclosed his lycanthropy to her she may well have had a prescription handy. Unfortunately, he doesn’t know about that, so he just demands that Julia give him a super-powerful sedative right away. Julia routinely dispenses sedatives to address any and all conditions, including sleepiness, but she draws the line here. She has never examined Chris, looked at his medical records, or talked with a doctor who has. Still, she does finally agree to prescribe something, though apparently not the knockout drops he was hoping for.

Episode 615: Protecting the vampire

Sheriff Patterson is at the estate of Collinwood. In yesterday’s episode, local man Joe Haskell tried to strangle old world gentleman Barnabas Collins in his house on the estate. Joe is in custody now, and the sheriff opens the episode with questions for some people in the great house.

Sheriff Patterson is played today by one-time substitute Alfred Sandor. I don’t know how much notice Sandor had that he would be playing the part, but it wasn’t enough for him to memorize his sides. He takes at least as many glances at the teleprompter as he has lines. He has a fine sonorous voice, an easy physicality, and when he can break free from the teleprompter he creates the impression that the sheriff is listening and thinking. I wish that he, rather than Vince O’Brien, had become the default Sheriff Patterson after Dana Elcar left Dark Shadows. The sheriff never gets to catch any of the bad guys, but it would be nice if he at least seemed like he had some brains.

The sheriff tells Barnabas’ inseparable friend, Julia Hoffman, MD, that Joe had claimed Barnabas was trying to kill him. Julia dismisses this as absurd. Joe says he was in Barnabas’ house recuperating from an injury, and awoke to find Barnabas offering him medicine that was poisoned. Only Julia’s intervention kept Joe from taking the medicine. Julia concedes that this is true.

Julia wondering what to say. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

New viewers might conclude from this that Julia is a compulsive truth-teller; after all, she is the only one who really knows that the medicine was poisoned, and she found that out by conducting tests which would probably consume all of it. But not only does she share her findings with the sheriff, she went out of her way to leave a sample of the poisoned medicine for the police to do follow-up testing on.

In fact, Julia is Dark Shadows‘ most fluent and most persuasive liar. It is unaccountable, not only that she confirms that the medicine was poisoned, but that the only suspects she lists when the sheriff asks who could have added the poison to the medicine are herself, Barnabas, Barnabas’ servant Willie, and Maggie Evans, The Nicest Girl in Town. While she and Barnabas have already proven their willingness to pin their crimes on Willie, he is too closely associated with them to be a desirable choice for the role of patsy, and no one will believe Maggie is guilty of anything- “The Nicest Girl in Town” might as well be her legal name.

Barnabas has been under the power of vampire Angelique for a couple of weeks. Julia is an expert on vampirism; she joined the cast in the summer of 1967 when she was treating Maggie for the aftermath of abuse she suffered from Barnabas when he was a vampire. She then won her way into Barnabas’ confidence and used him as the subject for an experimental treatment she had devised to cure vampirism. After that treatment failed, another mad scientist devised a different procedure for freeing Barnabas of the effects of his curse, and it was Julia who completed that procedure successfully. She then herself spent time as the victim of another vampire, giving her another perspective on the topic and making her uniquely knowledgeable on it. She has seen abundant evidence of Barnabas’ condition in the many days since Angelique first bit him, but it is only at the end of today’s episode, when she pulls back his cravat and sees the bite marks, that she finally puts two and two together. Combined with her sudden fit of honesty when the sheriff is questioning her, her slowness in figuring out what’s going on with Barnabas makes us wonder what is wrong with her. It’s true she hasn’t been getting much sleep lately, maybe that’s the problem.

There is a little support for this idea in a scene when the sheriff meets Julia in the woods. He is coming from Barnabas’ house, she is going there. He says that he’s surprised to find her in the woods at night, and she says “The woods are- are scary.” It isn’t like her to stumble and repeat a word, nor is “scary” a word she would typically use. Educated adults on Dark Shadows favor a more formal lexical register, saying “frightening” or something like that, leaving such words as “scary” to mark a grossly uneducated character like Willie or a child like young David Collins. Perhaps this line indicates that Julia just needs a good rest.

Many commenters remark on some irregularities in Angelique’s costume, speculating that one of them might be Lara Parker’s left nipple. I don’t think so; it just looks like fabric pilling, as witness the fact that there are multiple prominences in different spots. In the first year of Dark Shadows, Joan Bennett and Alexandra Moltke Isles sometimes did wear tight-fitting tops that revealed the shape of the flesh underneath more precisely than you might expect; that happened often enough that I took it to be a conscious decision to challenge the audience to take a matter-of-fact attitude toward female anatomy, and thought the grownup thing to do was not to mention it. But the show long ago forgot about grownup attitudes, so it is only to be expected that people are still giggling about what they think they can see in this shot.

There is a small prominence in the right spot, but the more conspicuous one is some inches above and to the left. So I suggest you all calm down. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Episode 612: I want you to be the guilty one

Joe Haskell has become a victim of vampire Angelique. That cost him his job, his fiancée, and everything else that gave him an identity. In #607, he went to visit Angelique and found that she had moved on to a new victim and didn’t want him anymore. Having lost even the source of his troubles, Joe stabbed himself.

Angelique shared Joe’s desire that he should die, but did not want her master, suave warlock Nicholas, to come home and find him bleeding to death on the carpet. So in #608 she called her new victim, recovering vampire Barnabas Collins, to take Joe away and leave him to die in the woods. Unable to be a party to Joe’s death, Barnabas took him back to his own house. He asked his friend, Julia Hoffman MD, to treat Joe there. Julia discovered the bite marks on Joe’s neck and figured out that he was a blood thrall and Angelique was the vampire, but she did not realize Barnabas was also in Angelique’s power.

Nicholas has for his own reasons joined Joe and Angelique in wanting Joe to die. Yesterday, he summoned a man he brought under his power in #601, unsightly ex-convict Harry Johnson, and ordered him to sneak into Barnabas’ house and pour a vial of poison into Joe’s medicine. In #528, Nicholas had scolded Angelique when she asked him to slip a potion into someone’s beverage, saying “I am much too talented to spend my time drugging drinks.” However talented Nicholas may be, the writing staff is taxed to the limit, so by #555 he was himself devising a plan to do just that. This time it doesn’t even seem to be a magical potion, just something colorless and toxic.

Nicholas isn’t the only evil genius who is failing to meet his own standards. Barnabas and Julia go on and on about the importance of not leaving Joe alone in the upstairs bedroom for a minute. Barnabas takes the first watch, but Angelique calls him away. Julia is asleep while Harry enters the house and poisons Joe’s medicine. She wakes up, goes to Joe’s room, finds that Barnabas is gone, then goes back downstairs, leaving Joe alone. When Barnabas returns, Julia is still downstairs, and she tells him he has been away for “hours.” Apparently she has left Joe unattended that whole time.

In the interval, Angelique bit Barnabas and left him unconscious in the woods. Harry found him there and took him to the great house of Collinwood, where his mother, housekeeper Mrs Johnson, was appalled by Barnabas’ pale color and evident weakness. She kept insisting on helping Barnabas, at first wanting to call a doctor, then saying Harry would walk him home, but Barnabas refused all assistance and left alone.

This is the first time we have seen Mrs Johnson in over eight weeks. It is also the first time we have ever seen her out of her working clothes. She is in a robe and has her hair down. Clarice Blackburn walks with exaggerated care, suggesting arthritis, and talks as if she were mindful of dentures that might come loose. With these tricks and in her usual costume, she does manage to seem somewhat older than her 47 years. But en déshabillé, she cannot conceal that she is younger than the character, and only 13 years older than the actor playing her son.

Mrs Johnson tries to reason with Barnabas while Harry looks on. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Early in the episode, Harry watched the clock in the foyer of the great house while we heard his voice in a recorded monologue thinking about Nicholas’ command and his reluctance to obey it. That was the first time Craig Slocum was entrusted with a simultaneous dual performance as voice actor and silent actor. The monologue is an efficiently written bit of exposition, and as a voice actor he delivers it competently enough. As a silent actor, he stares lifelessly forward throughout it, adding nothing to the words. Slocum wasn’t reliably interesting as a performer, but he could do well on occasion, and there would have been some grounds for hoping that Nicholas’ command to kill Joe would have provided him with an occasion to which he could rise. Slocum first appeared on Dark Shadows as Noah Gifford, another hopeless schlub who found himself ordered to commit a murder. The person giving that order was the unscrupulous Nathan Forbes, who like Joe was played by Joel Crothers. You’d think that the second time around, Slocum would find a way to invest the role of reluctant murderer with something subtle and compelling.

At the end of the episode, Jonathan Frid has a voiceover monologue while Barnabas wrestles with Angelique’s command to give the poisoned medicine to Joe. This monologue is entirely superfluous; we know exactly what Barnabas is thinking. Frid goes to the opposite extreme from Slocum, and makes faces and gestures emphasizing every point he hears his voice make. Without the voiceover, Frid’s dumbshow might at least have been nostalgic for people who remembered the silent movies. With the voiceover, it’s just embarrassing, a bad ending to a mediocre installment.

Episode 606: Hello, Barnabas

Vampire Angelique has bitten her onetime husband, old world gentleman Barnabas Collins, and brought him under her power. Barnabas asks if she plans to make him a vampire again, restoring the curse she placed on him when she was alive and they were married, 172 years before. Angelique is herself subordinate to suave warlock Nicholas Blair, and does not know what Nicholas’ plans are. All she can say in response is “Possibly.”

Barnabas keeps bringing up mad scientist Julia Hoffman and occult expert Timothy Eliot Stokes, who are waiting for him in his house. When Barnabas says that they will be suspicious if he does not return soon, Angelique replies “Let them be suspicious. It doesn’t matter to me.” When Barnabas asks what he can tell Julia and Stokes, Angelique replies “Tell them anything. Tell them the truth.” At that, a smile spreads across her face. We’ve already heard Julia ask Stokes what they will do if Barnabas is in trouble, and Stokes’ reply that there is nothing they can do. When Angelique suggests Barnabas tell Julia and Stokes the truth, her smile suggests that she has come to the same conclusion.

“Tell them anything. Tell them the truth.”

Angelique is usually so frantic in her manner and so monomaniacally focused on her goal that she does not seem to have any unspoken thoughts at all. But today she is tranquil, utterly satisfied with what she has done to Barnabas. “Tell them the truth” and the smile afterward are a turning point for the character. She has what she wants, and now something else is going on inside her head, something we would not have expected and can’t quite figure out.

It doesn’t last. A moment later, she is insisting that Barnabas must find a way to keep Julia and Stokes’ suspicions under control. But for a few seconds, a vista opened before us, and we caught a glimpse of an entirely new direction the show might take, both with Angelique’s character and with the relationship of a vampire to a victim. It even seemed possible that the alternately frenzied and glum secret-keeping that gives Dark Shadows its rhythm might give way to something entirely new. When that vista disappears, we find ourselves going back over some old familiar ground, but the sense of possibility does not quite leave us.

Angelique bites Barnabas twice today. Lara Parker was much shorter than Jonathan Frid, and the first time she bites him she has to get to his neck from a standing start with only a couple of seconds before the shot fades out to the opening titles. Her straining to get to her tiptoes was so obvious it made me and Mrs Acilius laugh out loud. But the second time, she comes at him from several feet away, and she takes the opportunity to make a sweeping turn and end with a balletic rise to en pointe, I believe using the rolling motion known as relevé. Frid helps Parker somewhat by bowing his head while Barnabas pleads with Angelique not to bite him. That one looks great.

Episode 564: Three stooges

Julia Hoffman, MD, is in the hospital looking for information about Tom Jennings. Tom was never her patient, but she knows that he was bitten by a vampire and will become a vampire himself if he dies.

Julia meets Tom’s cousin Joe Haskell. Joe tells her that Tom is already dead. Seeing how distraught Joe is, Julia says she will call his doctor. When he says he doesn’t need medical attention, because “I’m upset, that’s all,” Julia responds “There’s medication for that, too, you know.” Joe tells Julia Tom will be buried before the day is out.

Meanwhile, recovering vampire Barnabas Collins is in his basement, examining a new arrival. Barnabas and Julia are being forced to create a Frankenstein’s monster, and Barnabas’ servant Willie Loomis brought a cadaver home last night for material. Willie comes downstairs and declares that the project is too dangerous and too horrible for him to participate any further. Willie refers to himself in the third person, telling Barnabas that “Willie Loomis” has something to tell him. In this, he reverts to a habit he had in his first week on the show, when he was played by James Hall. He stopped doing this shortly after John Karlen took over the role, long before he gave up trying to imitate Mr Hall’s Mississippi accent. Maybe he will go back to that next. Barnabas tells Willie that he will do as he is told, and that Julia will give him a sedative next time he comes back with a corpse. Willie storms out, and Julia comes in with the news about Tom.

Barnabas says they must drive a stake through Tom’s heart before he rises to prey on the living. He calls Willie in. At that, my wife, Mrs Acilius, laughed. “He’s going to make Willie do it!” But this time, Barnabas has decreed that all three of them will go to the cemetery.

They are clustered near a tree, looking for all the world like the Three Stooges, when they spot Joe standing at the grave. They haven’t caught on that Joe is himself the victim of a vampire. That’s a bit odd. You’d think they would be among the very first to spot the signs of such a condition, and in the opening scene Joe was even sitting directly under a “Give Blood” poster. But they are oblivious.

Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Barnabas and Willie dig up the coffin. Barnabas is ready with the mallet and the stake when Willie opens the lid. He is shocked to find that it is empty.

Episode 562: The power of this house

Dangerously unstable ruffian Willie accidentally freed vampire Barnabas from his coffin in #210, and became his sorely bedraggled blood thrall. Barnabas has since been cured of his vampirism, more or less, and when first we saw Willie after that it seemed he might be about to revert to his old ways. But he has settled back into a life under Barnabas’ thumb. Today, he is digging up a grave, planning to steal a body for Barnabas and mad scientist Julia to use in creating a Frankenstein’s monster.

Willie is interrupted in this gruesome task when hardworking young fisherman Joe, walking through the graveyard, spots him and announces that he will be taking him to the sheriff. Joe is pale and has trouble concentrating; at one point he asks Willie about a voice only he can hear. Willie is in such a panic that he doesn’t notice the signs that Joe is ill. When Joe walks off, Willie is still pleading with him not to go to the police.

As it happens, Joe is not on his way to the sheriff’s office. He has been bitten by Angelique, formerly the wicked witch who made Barnabas a vampire, now a vampire herself. He is answering her summons. Were Willie not so terrified of the sheriff, perhaps he would have recognized a fellow sufferer of his old affliction.

Joe has been on Dark Shadows from the beginning, long before Willie and Barnabas joined the cast. For his first 112 weeks, he was the show’s most straightforward specimen of Healthy Man. His only foible was his tendency to lose track of his plans when he had the chance to help a neighbor. Now Angelique has transformed him into an addict desperate for a fix.

Joe needs a fix. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Joe and Willie represented opposite extremes of personality before they were bitten, and actors Joel Crothers and John Karlen were similarly remote from each other in their approaches to their work. Karlen used techniques like those popularized by Marlon Brando and James Dean to throw himself into a depiction of Willie’s emotions that could be compelling no matter how stale the dialogue he was given. Crothers could overcome weak lines as well, but he did it with a manner as precise and deliberate as Karlen’s was volatile and intense. For example, today he says “There are places I should be, other places,” which may not look like much in print, but his delivery shows a deep poetry in it.

Joe goes to Angelique in the house by the sea where she is staying. He wrestles with his compulsion to submit to her bite; she assures him that he will soon forget everything else in his life, including his love for his fiancée Maggie. Regular viewers will hear an unexpected echo in this; Maggie is played by Kathryn Leigh Scott, who in the part of Dark Shadows set in the 1790s played gracious lady Josette. It was her frustration that Barnabas loved Josette and not her that led Angelique to cast the spells that caused disaster in those days, culminating in her transformation of Barnabas into a vampire.

Joe awakens after the bite and tells Angelique about his encounter with Willie. Angelique’s master Nicholas appears. He instructs Joe to tell him what happened in the graveyard, and dismisses Angelique. We see Joe’s old gallantry one last time as he tells Angelique she doesn’t have to take orders from Nicholas. She tells him she does, and leaves him alone with Nicholas.

Nicholas tells Joe that he controls Angelique, and therefore controls him. Joe tells him he did not stop to tell the sheriff about Willie. It is Nicholas who wants a Frankenstein’s monster and has set up the scheme that is forcing Barnabas and Julia to try to make one, and so he is relieved to hear that. Nicholas gives Joe an order we do not hear.

Meanwhile, Willie is back at Barnabas’ house, still in a state of panic. Barnabas asks what is wrong, and he tells him that Joe found him digging up a grave and said he would go to the police. Willie wants to leave town at once, but Barnabas refuses.

Barnabas is figuring out how he can dump responsibility for the whole mess on Willie when a knock comes at the door. Thinking it is the sheriff, he sends Willie upstairs, telling him that if he talked to them he would only make it worse. It turns out to be Joe, come to tell Barnabas what he saw and explain that he decided that, since Willie saved his life a while ago, he won’t go to the police after all. Barnabas is very quiet and very courtly, sounding for all the world like Boris Karloff. After Joe leaves, Willie enters, jubilant to be off the hook. Barnabas is troubled by Joe’s obvious ill-health.

Back in the house by the sea, Nicholas tells Angelique that he has received some alarming news from the hospital. The victim of her first bite, easygoing electrician Tom, is coming out of his coma. If Tom tells what he knows, Nicholas and Angelique will be exposed. Angelique has only been a vampire for a short time, and is unsure of her powers. But Nicholas has demonstrated sufficient ability that it is difficult to see Tom as much of a threat to him. The episode thus ends without any particular suspense.

Episode 560: Just too horrible

Barnabas Collins may not be a vampire these days, but he’s still at his best when he gets to be an absolute bastard. He has such an opportunity today. His bedraggled servant Willie Loomis has been refusing to steal corpses from their graves so that Barnabas and mad scientist Julia Hoffman can build a mate for Frankenstein’s monster Adam. At first Barnabas threatens to have Julia recommit him to the psychiatric institution she runs; Willie says he would rather spend the rest of his life as a mental patient than dig up dead bodies, and Julia tells him she won’t send him back to the institution in any case.

When Barnabas learns of this, he gets a sinister gleam in his eye and tells Willie that if Adam finds out Willie is refusing to help in the project, he might kill Maggie Evans, The Nicest Girl in Town, on whom Willie has a crush. As Barnabas presses this idea on Willie, he seems more and more pleased with himself, and Willie becomes more and more distraught. When Willie finally caves in and agrees to do what he wants, Barnabas looks as happy as we have ever seen him.

Barnabas in his element. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Maggie is engaged to marry hardworking young fisherman Joe Haskell. Joe has received a note asking him to call at the home of the suave and mysterious Nicholas Blair shortly after sundown. When he does, a woman named Angelique meets him and tells him Nicholas will be back soon. She tells Joe that Nicholas is holding her prisoner. As Barnabas shows to his best advantage when he is a cold villain, so Joe shows to his when he suddenly finds himself with a chance to help a new friend. He is great right up to the moment when Angelique embraces him and reveals the vampire fangs with which she will bite him.

Episode 558: Talking of right and wrong

Suave warlock Nicholas Blair is lounging in his living room, blissfully contemplating the imminent success of all his evil plans. An unexpected visitor arrives. He is Adam, a Frankenstein’s monster whom Nicholas has been teaching to adopt a cruel and amoral code of extreme egoism. Adam is under the mistaken impression that recovering vampire Barnabas Collins created him, and he wants Barnabas to create a mate for him. Much to Nicholas’ approval, Adam abducted well-meaning governess Vicki Winters and told Barnabas he would kill her unless he gave in to his demands. Nicholas has Vicki stashed in a room in his attic.

Adam is bringing news Nicholas does not welcome. Adam’s former mentor, Professor Timothy Eliot Stokes, visited him in his hiding place. Barnabas had told Stokes of Adam’s threats against Vicki. Stokes tried to talk Adam into letting Vicki go. His last appeal was to ask the big guy to imagine how he would feel if someone were holding his favorite person, heiress Carolyn Collins Stoddard, and threatening to kill her if his demands weren’t met. That got through to him. He has come to tell Nicholas that they must release Vicki.

Nicholas asks Adam why he finds Stokes’ arguments convincing. Adam finally says that by making the comparison between Vicki and Carolyn, Stokes made him feel bad. Nicholas seizes on this, and says that those bad feelings are not evidence of any truth about the situation, but are just something Stokes imposed on him by trickery. Nicholas’ dismissal of conscience as a product of other people’s influence rather than an intuitive source of knowledge sounds rather like one of the crass immoralists Socrates shoots down in Plato’s dialogues, or like a simplified version of the criticisms of conventional morality with which thinkers like Marx, Nietzsche, and Freud scandalized the late nineteenth century.

Old Nick wins Adam over. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Adam goes back to Barnabas’ house and repeats his demand. Barnabas and his friend, mad scientist Julia Hoffman, waver. Barnabas finally agrees to try to build a woman for Adam, but only after he sets Vicki free. The big guy thinks about it for a moment, then agrees. He tells Barnabas that if he backs out of his part of the bargain, he will not only find Vicki again and kill her, but that he will murder everyone who bears the name of Collins. Since that includes Carolyn, it would seem that Nicholas’ teachings have had a very profound influence on him indeed.

Christine Scoleri of Dark Shadows Before I Die dramatized Stokes’ and Nicholas’ competing attempts to influence Adam with this image:

The debate. Image by Christine Scoleri.