Episode 614: Any morbid fantasy

Housekeeper Mrs Johnson saw old world gentleman Barnabas Collins last night, and he was in a frightful state. Her son, unsightly ex-convict Harry, had come upon Barnabas unconscious in the woods in the small hours of the morning, and brought him back to the great house of Collinwood. Barnabas was pale and weak, barely able to stand. Mrs Johnson wanted to call a doctor, but Barnabas refused any help and insisted on returning to his own home elsewhere on the grounds of the estate. This morning, Mrs Johnson drops in on Barnabas to see how he is doing, and to her horror finds that he is in an armchair in his front parlor, a rope being pulled tight around his neck by local man Joe Haskell. She fights Joe, and he runs off, leaving Barnabas alive.

Mrs Johnson does battle with Joe. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Had Joe succeeded in killing Barnabas, it would have been oddly appropriate for Mrs Johnson to be present. She was the first character we saw Barnabas speak to. He knocked on the door of the great house in #211 and she opened it, inviting him in when he identified himself as the Collins family’s cousin from England. They might have brought things full circle by having her also be the last person to speak to him.

As it is, Barnabas is not seriously hurt. He has no telephone in his house, so Mrs Johnson says she will go back to the great house to call the sheriff. Barnabas becomes agitated and forbids her to do this, saying that what has happened must remain between him and Joe. She doesn’t work for Barnabas, and even if she did he would have neither the legal authority to stop her reporting a crime to the police nor the power to silence a character whose function has long been to distribute information to anyone who might use it to advance the story.

Back in the great house, Mrs Johnson finds Harry in the foyer. She asks him what he is doing in the front part of the house, and he claims to be on an errand for one of the ladies. She mentions that Barnabas is in a bad way, and Harry expresses surprise she was at his house. He blurts out a reference to Joe, and his mother questions him sharply. She realizes that he knows far more than he is telling, and she wants to know what he is doing and who else is mixed up in it. He doesn’t give her any answers. She picks up the telephone to call the sheriff, and Harry puts his finger on the hook to hang it up.

The front door opens. The lady of the house, matriarch Liz, is there with her brother Roger. Joe is leaning on Roger’s shoulder. Liz and Roger found Joe in the Collins family mausoleum in the old cemetery north of town, which they were visiting because Roger wants to remodel it. Mrs Johnson is horrified to see Joe, and tells Liz and Roger what she saw at Barnabas’ house. They can’t believe that Joe, who has always been a decent and honest person and is now very ill, could have done such a thing. Roger and Harry help Joe to the sofa, where Roger asks him if Mrs Johnson is telling the truth. Joe responds by saying that he has to kill Barnabas before Barnabas kills him, and Roger calls the police.

Episode 613: I must have thought the morning had come

Recovering vampire Barnabas Collins has himself become the victim of a vampire, his onetime wife, Angelique. Barnabas and his friend, mad scientist Julia Hoffman, are taking care of Angelique’s other blood thrall, Joe Haskell. Julia does not know about Barnabas’ predicament, but when he brought the dying Joe home she examined him, found the bite marks on his neck, and not only recognized what had happened to him but figured out that Angelique was the vampire. Under Julia’s care, Joe is recovering in Barnabas’ upstairs bedroom, but Angelique has now ordered Barnabas to kill him. Julia walks in just as Barnabas is about to put a spoonful of poisoned medicine into Joe’s mouth.

Julia takes the medicine from Barnabas and asks him what he’s doing. He looks down and pretends he was confused about what she had told him. She is unconvinced, and he keeps looking down and lying. He looks for all the world like a little boy whose mommy caught him being naughty. It’s hilarious, and when they have another conversation about the same topic later in the episode it is hilarious again.

Barnabas is BUS-TED!!!

Barnabas is back at his bedside when Joe comes to. Joe knows Barnabas tried to kill him, and starts talking about revealing secrets. Barnabas asks if he wants his ex-fiancée Maggie Evans, The Nicest Girl in Town, to know what he has become. Joe says no, that Maggie must never know what Angelique has made of him.

Maggie stops by. Julia urges her to talk with Joe. She is reluctant to do so, fearing she will upset him, but after Julia presses her she agrees. Alone with Joe, Maggie asks him about the other girl in his life. He is tempted to tell her about Angelique, saying that she is the only person he could possibly talk to, but the resolution he had earlier expressed to Barnabas reasserts itself and he clams up. He does tell her that Barnabas is trying to kill him, and that if he dies it will be Barnabas’ doing. Maggie refuses to believe that Barnabas could have done anything to harm Joe.

Longtime viewers will find an irony in this. In May and June 1967, Barnabas was a vampire and he kept Maggie prisoner in this room. Julia would later hypnotize her to forget that ordeal, and now she is inclined to think Barnabas is just peachy. Downstairs, Maggie tells Barnabas and Julia Joe did not say anything coherent. She thanks Julia for treating Joe and Barnabas for “everything you’ve done!”

Julia goes to the great house of Collinwood, where she has been a permanent houseguest for about a year. Housekeeper Mrs Johnson meets her in the foyer. Unknown to Julia, Angelique bit Barnabas last night, and left him unconscious in the woods. Mrs Johnson’s son, unsightly ex-convict Harry, found Barnabas there and took him back to the great house, where Mrs Johnson vainly offered to call a doctor for him. Barnabas insisted on going back to his own house, where he told Mrs Johnson that Julia would take care of him. Julia has no idea any of that happened. Mrs Johnson asks her how Barnabas is doing. She describes the symptoms he showed the night before. With her background, Julia must surely recognize these as signs of a vampire attack, but she has to keep a bland face while with Mrs Johnson.

Joe comes to and decides to kill Barnabas before Barnabas kills him. We end with him pulling a rope tight around Barnabas’ throat.

Episode 612: I want you to be the guilty one

Joe Haskell has become a victim of vampire Angelique. That cost him his job, his fiancée, and everything else that gave him an identity. In #607, he went to visit Angelique and found that she had moved on to a new victim and didn’t want him anymore. Having lost even the source of his troubles, Joe stabbed himself.

Angelique shared Joe’s desire that he should die, but did not want her master, suave warlock Nicholas, to come home and find him bleeding to death on the carpet. So in #608 she called her new victim, recovering vampire Barnabas Collins, to take Joe away and leave him to die in the woods. Unable to be a party to Joe’s death, Barnabas took him back to his own house. He asked his friend, Julia Hoffman MD, to treat Joe there. Julia discovered the bite marks on Joe’s neck and figured out that he was a blood thrall and Angelique was the vampire, but she did not realize Barnabas was also in Angelique’s power.

Nicholas has for his own reasons joined Joe and Angelique in wanting Joe to die. Yesterday, he summoned a man he brought under his power in #601, unsightly ex-convict Harry Johnson, and ordered him to sneak into Barnabas’ house and pour a vial of poison into Joe’s medicine. In #528, Nicholas had scolded Angelique when she asked him to slip a potion into someone’s beverage, saying “I am much too talented to spend my time drugging drinks.” However talented Nicholas may be, the writing staff is taxed to the limit, so by #555 he was himself devising a plan to do just that. This time it doesn’t even seem to be a magical potion, just something colorless and toxic.

Nicholas isn’t the only evil genius who is failing to meet his own standards. Barnabas and Julia go on and on about the importance of not leaving Joe alone in the upstairs bedroom for a minute. Barnabas takes the first watch, but Angelique calls him away. Julia is asleep while Harry enters the house and poisons Joe’s medicine. She wakes up, goes to Joe’s room, finds that Barnabas is gone, then goes back downstairs, leaving Joe alone. When Barnabas returns, Julia is still downstairs, and she tells him he has been away for “hours.” Apparently she has left Joe unattended that whole time.

In the interval, Angelique bit Barnabas and left him unconscious in the woods. Harry found him there and took him to the great house of Collinwood, where his mother, housekeeper Mrs Johnson, was appalled by Barnabas’ pale color and evident weakness. She kept insisting on helping Barnabas, at first wanting to call a doctor, then saying Harry would walk him home, but Barnabas refused all assistance and left alone.

This is the first time we have seen Mrs Johnson in over eight weeks. It is also the first time we have ever seen her out of her working clothes. She is in a robe and has her hair down. Clarice Blackburn walks with exaggerated care, suggesting arthritis, and talks as if she were mindful of dentures that might come loose. With these tricks and in her usual costume, she does manage to seem somewhat older than her 47 years. But en déshabillé, she cannot conceal that she is younger than the character, and only 13 years older than the actor playing her son.

Mrs Johnson tries to reason with Barnabas while Harry looks on. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Early in the episode, Harry watched the clock in the foyer of the great house while we heard his voice in a recorded monologue thinking about Nicholas’ command and his reluctance to obey it. That was the first time Craig Slocum was entrusted with a simultaneous dual performance as voice actor and silent actor. The monologue is an efficiently written bit of exposition, and as a voice actor he delivers it competently enough. As a silent actor, he stares lifelessly forward throughout it, adding nothing to the words. Slocum wasn’t reliably interesting as a performer, but he could do well on occasion, and there would have been some grounds for hoping that Nicholas’ command to kill Joe would have provided him with an occasion to which he could rise. Slocum first appeared on Dark Shadows as Noah Gifford, another hopeless schlub who found himself ordered to commit a murder. The person giving that order was the unscrupulous Nathan Forbes, who like Joe was played by Joel Crothers. You’d think that the second time around, Slocum would find a way to invest the role of reluctant murderer with something subtle and compelling.

At the end of the episode, Jonathan Frid has a voiceover monologue while Barnabas wrestles with Angelique’s command to give the poisoned medicine to Joe. This monologue is entirely superfluous; we know exactly what Barnabas is thinking. Frid goes to the opposite extreme from Slocum, and makes faces and gestures emphasizing every point he hears his voice make. Without the voiceover, Frid’s dumbshow might at least have been nostalgic for people who remembered the silent movies. With the voiceover, it’s just embarrassing, a bad ending to a mediocre installment.

Episode 611: She must come willingly

Suave warlock Nicholas Blair proposes to Maggie Evans, The Nicest Girl in Town. Maggie declines, citing her concern for her troubled ex-fiancé Joe Haskell. Nicholas has a man named Harry Johnson under his power, and a vial of poison he wants to give to Joe. After his disappointing date with Maggie, Nicholas goes home and takes a firm grip on his Harry Johnson. He orders Harry to slip the poison to Joe.

That was all I had to say about the episode, but my wife, Mrs Acilius, had a great deal more. She saw it as an essay about free will.

In the opening scenes, Nicholas talks with Frankenstein’s monsters named Adam and Eve. Adam was created in May, in a procedure that used parts salvaged from corpses and a “life force” extracted from recovering vampire Barnabas Collins. When Nicholas found out about Adam, he came up with the idea of a humanoid species bred from patchwork people and loyal to his master Satan. He schemed to have Eve created as Adam’s mate. Nicholas decided that the donor of Eve’s “life force” should be “the most evil woman who ever lived”; he therefore conjured up Danielle Roget, an eighteenth century homicidal maniac based on Madame DuFarge from A Tale of Two Cities, and assigned her the task. Now he finds that Eve has Danielle’s memories and personality, and that she hates Adam. She has found a man she recognized as the reincarnation of someone she was involved with when she was Danielle, and has made up her mind that they will love each other.

Nicholas is frustrated he cannot control Eve. He turns from her and looks into the camera, as if appealing to the audience for sympathy. Nicholas does not seem to understand what went wrong. He had the basic ingredients for his new species- a male and a female. He had not reckoned on one of them disregarding his plan and choosing a direction of her own.

Nicholas turns to us.

Adam sees Eve storm out of the house as he is going to see Nicholas. He asks Nicholas where she is going, and is astonished when Nicholas tells him he doesn’t know. Adam is unhappy that Eve does not want him, and thinks that a change of scene would help. Still upset about his conversation with Eve, Nicholas is slow to focus his attention on Adam. When Adam complains Nicholas thinks that he and Eve belong to him, Nicholas turns to him and starts telling him what he wants to hear. Evidently it is dawning on Nicholas that Adam, too, might start to make his own decisions.

The man Eve has chosen is named Peter, but he prefers to be called Jeff. Eve shows up at his apartment, refuses to leave, and tells him that they are going to be together from now on. Roger Davis’ inadequacies as an actor leave this scene flat. Eve keeps talking about signs of doubts and irresolution she sees in Peter/ Jeff’s face, none of which Mr Davis is able to manifest. All he does is yell and pout. But as Eve, Marie Wallace manages to make the point that Eve is no more interested in anyone else’s free will than is Nicholas. She wants Peter/ Jeff to love her, and that is all there is to it so far as she is concerned.

For his part, Nicholas has learned nothing from the failure of his attempt to match Adam and Eve. He thinks all he has to do is get Joe out of the way and Maggie will come to him “willingly.” He even seems to underestimate Harry. He doesn’t bother lying to Harry about what he wants him to do to Joe, and Harry is horrified at the idea of complicity in murder. Harry is a career criminal, and several times we have seen him try to get money out of people by blackmail, extortion, or spying. Nicholas could easily have told him he is about to commit a crime he is used to committing and avoid all resistance. For example, he might have said that the potion was a truth serum and once Joe took it he would have to tell him some secret they could use against him. But it simply doesn’t occur to him to take Harry’s sensibilities into account, and he winds up having to threaten him to gain his compliance. A villain who is supposed to have subtle but irresistible powers loses a piece of his menace every time he resorts to an “or else!,” so this is a significant setback for the character of Nicholas.

Episode 610: You are the angel of death

A woman named Eve sees a man standing on the terrace of the great house of Collinwood. She addresses the man as “Peter Bradford.” Regular viewers know that this is indeed his name, but we also know that he prefers to be called “Jeff Clark.” Peter/ Jeff has died and came back to life since he was first known as “Peter Bradford,” so I suppose you could say that’s a case of deadnaming. But while most transfolk tend to be patient when people inadvertently deadname them, Peter/ Jeff is a huge jerk about correcting people who use his former name. Yesterday twelve year old David Collins called him “Peter Bradford,” and he grabbed the boy and shook him until it looked like he had given him a concussion.

Eve is also a returnee from the world of the dead. Doubly so; her body is a Frankenstein creation made of parts salvaged from corpses, while her memories and personality are those of eighteenth century homicidal maniac Danielle Roget. Peter lived in that same era, and when Eve/ Danielle recognizes him we learn that they knew each other then. Peter/ Jeff doesn’t assault her as he did David; she’s his own size. He doesn’t recognize her, which she attributes to the fact that she looks different than she did when they knew each other. He keeps whining that his name is “Jeff Clark,” but she isn’t having it.

Meanwhile, Peter/ Jeff’s fiancée, well-meaning governess Vicki, is in the drawing room, having a conversation with matriarch Liz. There is a blooper in the middle of this conversation. Liz is supposed to say something like “Then you’ve resolved all your difficulties,” but Joan Bennett stumbles over the words. Alexandra Moltke Isles improvises a response that makes sense of it. That response is smooth enough, but she delivers the rest of her lines very quickly and with unusually little eye contact with her scene partner. Perhaps that is because she was afraid the improvised line was going to put the scene over time, or maybe she realized she had called attention to Bennett’s flub and was nervous because she had embarrassed a big star.

Or maybe Mrs Isles was nervous because her next scene was going to be with Peter/ Jeff, and she knew it would involve Roger Davis putting his hands on her. As they exit, Peter/ Jeff clutches Vicki by wrapping his arms around her in a remarkably awkward fashion, and she visibly squirms. This is most likely Mrs Isles’ discomfort arising from Mr Davis’ habit of physically assaulting his scene partners. A charitable viewer just might be able to believe that it is Vicki’s discomfort because Peter/ Jeff just spent the whole scene telling her transparent lies. He doesn’t want to tell her about his encounter with Eve/ Danielle, and makes up totally unconvincing excuses for his distracted state. Perhaps Mrs Isles channeled her unhappiness at being yoked with Mr Davis into her expression of Vicki’s dissatisfaction with the loathsome little man she is engaged to marry.

Peter/ Jeff steers Vicki offscreen.

Once Vicki and Peter/ Jeff are gone, Eve/ Danielle emerges from the bushes whence she had been spying on them. Liz comes out to the terrace and sees Eve/ Danielle. She asks who she is. When she does not answer, Liz tells her that she knows- she is the angel of death. Eve/ Danielle is startled by this, and hurries away.

The next scene takes place in the house of suave warlock Nicholas Blair. Nicholas has been keeping Eve/ Danielle there since she came to life. She has returned from Collinwood. Nicholas is upset with her for going out without his permission. She taunts him, and he slaps her. He threatens to kill her, and she says that while she does not know what his plans are, it is clear to her that she figures too prominently in them for him to do that.

Coming so shortly after we saw an actress give strong signs of unease at contact with Roger Davis, Nicholas’ slap to Eve/ Danielle’s face is a lesson in how professional actors handle scenes involving physical violence. Eve/ Danielle is relaxed before the slap and in shock after it. Her reaction gives the scene its energy. If Marie Wallace had reason to believe Humbert Allen Astredo would actually hit her, she may well have been as tense before the slap as Mrs Isles was before Roger Davis slithered his arms around her, and the scene would have dribbled out as lifelessly as does Peter/ Jeff’s scene with Vicki.

Once Nicholas concedes that Eve/ Danielle is important to his plans, she relaxes again and decides she may as well tell him about her encounter with Peter/ Jeff. Nicholas is intrigued, and disturbed. He tells Eve/ Danielle that “If it is true that they are one and the same, then there are forces at work here that I don’t know about.” Eve/ Danielle’s memory of her previous existence is very incomplete, and she wants Nicholas to help her to learn more about herself. Once he has heard about Peter/ Jeff, he is eager to oblige. He hypnotizes her.

At this point, my wife, Mrs Acilius, expressed frustration. “He’s going to hypnotize her and afterward she won’t remember anything! It’s only interesting if she remembers.” Eve/ Danielle does have a flashback to 1795, but at the end she seems to come out of the trance on her own. She turns to Nicholas, calls him by name, and says that she remembers Peter Bradford and she loves him. Since Nicholas doesn’t give her a post-hypnotic suggestion and snap his fingers, it seems likely she will remember her past with Peter.

When Danielle was introduced, I assumed that the name “Roget” was a case of deadline-induced selection. She is based on Madame DuFarge from A Tale of Two Cities, so she had to be French. But the writer didn’t have a list of French surnames at his fingertips, so he looked at his desk, saw a copy of Roget’s Thesaurus, and went with that. Perhaps that was what happened, but today Eve/ Danielle lives up to her namesake and goes into the synonym business. She calls Peter/ Jeff by his original name. She is on the receiving end of synonymy from Liz, since “the angel of death” is as good a name for her as any. And one of the memory gaps Eve/ Danielle wants Nicholas to help her fill is her previous name.

Marie Wallace plays Danielle in the flashback, even though she had mentioned in the first act that she looked different in those days. This occasions much discussion on the fansites. Here is the debate on the Dark Shadows Wiki:

During the fiashback scene, Danielle Roget should have been played by Erica Fitz instead of Marie Wallace. Fitz had previously portrayed Danielle Roget in episode 594, so it would have made sense and for character continuity to continue using the same actress. [Addendum: There are strong reasons to argue otherwise as well. One could argue that this is a memory that Nicholas is conjuring in Eve, so it’s from Eve’s perspective, and she would naturally see herself in her current guise, not even knowing what Danielle Roget looked like. This is also a reasonable place for dramatic license to prevail. The scene is very short, and it wouldn’t have been especially practical to have an additional actress. It’s also possible that viewers may have been confused if another actress was in the scene–Erica Fitz was on the show for only two episodes, so viewers at the time might not even have seen or not fully remembered what she looked like. Aside from that, it’s also possible Erica Fitz was not available.]

Discussion under “Bloopers and Continuity Errors” in “610” on The Dark Shadows Wiki.

In a comment on his own post about the episode on Dark Shadows Every Day, Danny Horn puts it more succinctly:

Yeah, I think the in-universe explanation is that the flashback pictured at the top of this post is Eve’s hypnosis-assisted memory of the event, so she’s picturing herself as she is now.

The real-world explanation is that Marie Wallace is playing Eve/Danielle now, and exactly nobody wants Erica Fitz to come back and appear in the flashback.

Comment left 23 March 2015 by Danny Horn on “Episode 610: Inexplicable You,” Dark Shadows Before I Die, 21 March 2015.

For my part, I’m sure Erica Fitz Mears is a very nice lady, and we should all give her money to help with her health problems. But no, she was not a good actress and I do not regret that she did not get more work on screen. Since Mrs Mears was only in two episodes, today’s flashback might have been an opportunity to give some other actress a chance to show what she could do as Danielle. But Miss Wallace does a very good job, and rounding the episode with two confrontations between the same pair of performers does a great deal to strengthen its structure. It would probably have been a mistake to cast anyone else in the flashback.

The flashback scene does come as bad news to longtime viewers, for reasons that have nothing to do with the casting of Danielle. When in November 1967 the show needed to develop a backstory for vampire Barnabas Collins, it took us back to 1795 and introduced Angelique, a maniacal ex-girlfriend who was determined to disrupt Barnabas’ new romance. That was a triumph that turned Barnabas from a stunt that boosted their ratings sufficiently to ward off cancellation into one of the major pop-culture phenomena of the 1960s, and Angelique herself became one of the show’s most important characters. That they are trying the same tactic with Peter/ Jeff, right down to a dramatic date of 1795, leads us to fear that they see him as a permanent part of the cast, and that they want to tie Eve/ Danielle as closely to him as Angelique is tied to Barnabas.

Episode 609: For want of a fig leaf

Adam and Eve are discussing the Fall, comparing their incomplete memories of what came before it. This is not a flashback. The Adam and Eve we see today are Frankenstein’s monsters, and they do not live in exile from Eden when the world was young, but in the town of Collinsport, Maine in 1968. The Fall they have in mind is the one that is also known as Autumn. Adam is ashamed, not because he is naked, but because Eve accuses him of preferring life in captivity. He is not naked at all, even though Eve walks in on him and sees his Harry Johnson. Harry Johnson is the man to whom Adam has entrusted a letter, but since Adam’s favorite pastime is studying the works of Sigmund Freud, and since by 1968 “johnson” had been a familiar English slang word for “penis” for over a century, he would likely have been the first to make the connection to the predicament of their Biblical namesakes.

Adam takes Eve to his old home, a dusty room in the long-deserted west wing of the great house of Collinwood. Heiress Carolyn hid him there for a period that seemed so long the audience might feel that the original Adam and Eve were probably still around when it started. Carolyn greets them there. She is happy to see Adam again and eager to befriend Eve. Adam wants that too, but Eve isn’t having it. She quarrels with Adam and storms out, leaving Carolyn in an awkward position.

On the terrace outside the great house, an unpleasant man named Peter who prefers to be called Jeff is waiting for his date, well-meaning governess Vicki. Vicki has kept him waiting for an hour. Vicki’s charge, young David, happens by. Peter/ Jeff immediately makes it clear why Vicki is in no hurry to see him. He greets David with an accusation that he was hiding from him. When David denies this, Peter/ Jeff demands that he tell him who he was hiding from. Peter/ Jeff may have forgotten who is a guest in whose house, but David hasn’t, and he turns to go. Peter/ Jeff stops him, asking “We’re friends, aren’t we?” David doesn’t explicitly agree that they are, but he stays.

Peter/ Jeff starts to talk about his plans to marry Vicki. David calls him “Peter,” and since the closest thing he has to a personality is his insistence on being called “Jeff” he grabs David and shakes him violently. Watching this scene today, my wife, Mrs Acilius, said one word- “Psycho.” She wasn’t talking about Peter/ Jeff, but about actor Roger Davis. When one character shakes another, it is usually the actor playing the shakee who makes all the movements, while the shaker just mimes the action without actually touching them. Not so Mr Davis- he really did rattle David Henesy around hard enough that it’s pure luck he didn’t give him a concussion. That’s typical of the approach Mr Davis took to his performances on Dark Shadows, in the course of which he assaulted several women on camera. Mr Henesy is uncharacteristically tense throughout this scene, does not sustain eye contact with Mr Davis, and when the scene ends he rushes off stage.

Roger Davis has his fun. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

In his dialogue, Peter/ Jeff makes some pretty bizarre remarks:

You know, David, pretty soon, you’re gonna find out that love isn’t something you can remember. Sixteen years old… You know when you’re sixteen, you can really love somebody. And then you come back ten years later and you wouldn’t even notice her.

At this, David gives Peter/ Jeff a look that accords with Mrs Acilius’ one word assessment of Roger Davis. “Love isn’t something you can remember”? Which item on the sociopathy screening test is that? And what does “Sixteen years old” have to do with anything? David is twelve, Peter/ Jeff and Vicki are in their twenties, no one mentioned the number sixteen. And David would be doing Vicki a solid if he told her that her fiancé won’t remember her in ten years.

David Collins wonders what the #%*^ is wrong with Peter/ Jeff, while David Henesy recovers from Roger Davis’ assault on him. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

David leaves, and Eve shows up. She recognizes Peter/ Jeff and addresses him as “Peter Bradford!” The closing credits start rolling before Peter/ Jeff can shake her violently while whining that he wants to be called “Jeff Clark.” Eve is the reincarnation of an eighteenth century homicidal maniac; she hasn’t killed anyone since she was brought to life the other day, and Peter/ Jeff would be an excellent choice for her first victim. If she does kill him, I would be “Team Eve” all the way.

Episode 608: The experts

Julia Hoffman, MD, is an authority on vampirism. We first saw her treating Maggie Evans, The Nicest Girl in Town, who was recovering from her time as the victim of vampire Barnabas Collins. Julia then met Barnabas and transferred her loyalties to him. She used her extraordinary abilities as a hypnotist to erase Maggie’s memories of her ordeal, and conducted an experiment meant to turn Barnabas back into a human.

That experiment failed, but subsequent intervention by another mad scientist did put Barnabas’ vampirism into remission. Since then, another vampire appeared and took Julia as his victim. Barnabas staked him and freed her. Now a third vampire is on the loose. She is Angelique, Barnabas’ ex-wife and once the witch who condemned him to the ranks of the undead in the first place. Angelique has two blood thralls at the moment. One is Barnabas himself. The other is Joe Haskell, formerly a hardworking young fisherman and fiancé to Maggie.

Yesterday Angelique told Joe she didn’t want him anymore. In response, he tried to kill himself. Seeing him bleeding to death, Angelique summoned Barnabas and ordered him to carry Joe off to the woods and leave him to die. Barnabas disobeyed her, and instead brought him back to his house, where Julia treats him.

Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Julia spots the puncture wounds on Joe’s neck. She figures out that he is a blood thrall and surmises that Angelique, whom she knows under the alias Cassandra, is the vampire. When Barnabas resists her inquiries, she becomes suspicious of him. At first she bluntly tells him that she wonders if he knows more than he is telling, but when he tries to dismiss her theory about Angelique/ Cassandra she backs away and claims that she is proceeding from “Intuition… I’ve no logical reason… I want to find a solution so badly that I’m willing to accept the idea of Cassandra Collins coming back.” Regular viewers know, not only that Julia has an abundance of logical reasons for her conclusions, but that she is a talented liar. We may well expect to find that she is entirely in control of the situation.

Barnabas brings Maggie over to talk with Joe. Longtime viewers will find this jarring. Joe is in the upstairs bedroom where Barnabas kept Maggie when she was his victim, and she briefly recovered her memory just two weeks ago. You might think that Barnabas and Julia would be taking a terrible risk by letting her see Joe suffer as she did in the room where she did. Oddly, she remembers seeing Joe with Angelique in #599, but does not remember what she knew then, that Angelique is a vampire and that Joe is going through what Barnabas put her through.

Later, Barnabas is alone with Joe when he regains consciousness. Joe figures out that Barnabas is Angelique’s new blood thrall. He vows to kill him, and we cut to the closing credits.

Episode 607: Bedtime

Suave warlock Nicholas Blair wakes Frankenstein’s monster Adam from a nightmare. As we have seen from night-time glimpses of fisherman Joe Haskell and the unpleasant Jeff Clark, it is standard for the young men of Collinsport to go to bed fully dressed, wearing coats, ties, and shoes. Adam is the youngest man around, having been brought to life just this May, but he is wearing pajamas.

Many commenters on fan boards assume that Adam has poor personal hygiene, perhaps because he has spent so much of his short life cooped up in hiding places without running water. But he lives in Nicholas’ house now, and unlike most characters, including Nicholas himself, he has two changes of clothing- the clothes that apparently came with the corpses from which he was assembled, a bright green sweater heiress Carolyn gave him, and his pajamas. So I think we ought to assume that he keeps himself clean.

Earlier this night, Nicholas sicced vampire Angelique on old world gentleman Barnabas Collins in order to keep Barnabas from interfering with his plans for Adam. But he discovers that Adam and Barnabas have a Corsican Brothers-type connection, so that puncture marks have appeared on Adam’s neck. Adam is also weakened, and afraid of Angelique. Nicholas concludes that Angelique will have to leave Barnabas alone. She is deeply disappointed when he tells her of this, but cannot argue, as it is almost dawn and she must get back in her coffin.

We then cut to the Blue Whale, where an unshaven Joe is drinking. Joe is another of Angelique’s victims, and as a result of her power over him has lost his job, his fiancée Maggie Evans, and his self-respect. We were first introduced to Joe in this room, back in #3. In those days, he was a hardworking young fisherman who was too sturdily honest to be tempted by a bribe to spy on the ancient and esteemed Collins family. We have seen him back on this set many times, usually as a stalwart representative of whatever is wholesome and rational. But today he is one of the old drunks leaning on the bar.

Maggie enters. She walks up to Joe. He does not react, and she starts to walk away. She turns back to him and says hello. They have a sad little chat. She says he almost seems to feel about her the way he used to; he says she has no idea how he feels. She tells him what she expects him to say, that he won’t be able to explain to her what’s going on with him; he confirms that it is so. He asks if she is there to meet Nicholas; she says she is, and asks if there is any reason she shouldn’t. He says he supposes not.

Nicholas enters. He asks Maggie if she would like to sit at the bar, but she indicates a table. Joe looks at them, and we hear his thoughts as he wishes he could explain what Angelique has done to him. This gains poignancy for regular viewers, not only because of the contrast between the broken-down figure we see today and the robust young man who so often modeled health and sanity on this same set previously, but also because less than two weeks ago, in #599, Maggie knew all about what Joe was going through. She and Joe were ready to run off together when Nicholas used his sorcery to mind-wipe their knowledge away and reset the story to its current dismal status quo.

Joe leaves the bar and goes to Nicholas’ house to call on Angelique. She is surprised to see him. She didn’t summon him, and she isn’t hungry. She tells him to go away. He says that he’s lost everything because of her, and that she is all he has left. She says he doesn’t have her either, because she is done with him. To make him even more miserable, she takes him to Nicholas’ magical mirror, which can be used to spy on whomever the user chooses, and shows Joe that Nicholas has walked Maggie home. Joe hears Maggie agree that she might fall in love with Nicholas, and watches them exchange a long, passionate kiss.

Joe asks Angelique if she cares that she has utterly ruined his life, to which she replies “Not particularly.” He says that he hates everything he has become, and that he despairs of ever being anything else. He picks up a letter opener intending to stab Angelique. Unable to bring himself to attack her, he sticks it into his own belly.

Angelique makes Joe feel like Mickey Mouse. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

Joel Crothers was dissatisfied with the part of Joe and with Dark Shadows generally. In a couple of months, he will leave the show and take a role on another soap. Very few viewers would have been likely to know that was coming in 1968, but Joe was a popular character who was chronically underutilized. He would have had many fans who might have shared Joe’s fear that the show will leave him in the state to which this storyline has reduced him.

Episode 606: Hello, Barnabas

Vampire Angelique has bitten her onetime husband, old world gentleman Barnabas Collins, and brought him under her power. Barnabas asks if she plans to make him a vampire again, restoring the curse she placed on him when she was alive and they were married, 172 years before. Angelique is herself subordinate to suave warlock Nicholas Blair, and does not know what Nicholas’ plans are. All she can say in response is “Possibly.”

Barnabas keeps bringing up mad scientist Julia Hoffman and occult expert Timothy Eliot Stokes, who are waiting for him in his house. When Barnabas says that they will be suspicious if he does not return soon, Angelique replies “Let them be suspicious. It doesn’t matter to me.” When Barnabas asks what he can tell Julia and Stokes, Angelique replies “Tell them anything. Tell them the truth.” At that, a smile spreads across her face. We’ve already heard Julia ask Stokes what they will do if Barnabas is in trouble, and Stokes’ reply that there is nothing they can do. When Angelique suggests Barnabas tell Julia and Stokes the truth, her smile suggests that she has come to the same conclusion.

“Tell them anything. Tell them the truth.”

Angelique is usually so frantic in her manner and so monomaniacally focused on her goal that she does not seem to have any unspoken thoughts at all. But today she is tranquil, utterly satisfied with what she has done to Barnabas. “Tell them the truth” and the smile afterward are a turning point for the character. She has what she wants, and now something else is going on inside her head, something we would not have expected and can’t quite figure out.

It doesn’t last. A moment later, she is insisting that Barnabas must find a way to keep Julia and Stokes’ suspicions under control. But for a few seconds, a vista opened before us, and we caught a glimpse of an entirely new direction the show might take, both with Angelique’s character and with the relationship of a vampire to a victim. It even seemed possible that the alternately frenzied and glum secret-keeping that gives Dark Shadows its rhythm might give way to something entirely new. When that vista disappears, we find ourselves going back over some old familiar ground, but the sense of possibility does not quite leave us.

Angelique bites Barnabas twice today. Lara Parker was much shorter than Jonathan Frid, and the first time she bites him she has to get to his neck from a standing start with only a couple of seconds before the shot fades out to the opening titles. Her straining to get to her tiptoes was so obvious it made me and Mrs Acilius laugh out loud. But the second time, she comes at him from several feet away, and she takes the opportunity to make a sweeping turn and end with a balletic rise to en pointe, I believe using the rolling motion known as relevé. Frid helps Parker somewhat by bowing his head while Barnabas pleads with Angelique not to bite him. That one looks great.

Episode 605: Ordinary people like us

Recovering vampire Barnabas Collins has determined to let himself into a house occupied by suave warlock Nicholas Blair. He knows that Nicholas is harboring Frankenstein’s monsters named Adam and Eve, that Eve is the reincarnation of a homicidal maniac, and that Nicholas has sinister plans for the pair. Once in the house, he intends to kill Eve.

Most of the episode is taken up with Barnabas’ preparation for this mission. He works with his friends, mad scientist Julia Hoffman and occult expert Timothy Eliot Stokes, to ensure that Nicholas will be out of the house when Barnabas gets there. When he goes into the room where he expects to find Eve, Barnabas discovers that she is not there. Instead, he is greeted by his erstwhile wife, Angelique. Angelique is now a vampire. We end with her baring her fangs at him.

Beneath all the homicidal and fantastic elements is a classic situation of farce. A man sneaks into a house hoping to meet a young woman, only to come face to face with his ex-wife. There are several notes of intentional comedy. Keeping Nicholas distracted, Stokes gives him a long lecture about the history of the Collins family. When he starts in on the details of their shipping interests, Nicholas squirms, jumps up, and thinks of someplace else he ought to be. Stokes and Julia destroy that excuse, and Nicholas sinks sadly back into his chair, bracing himself to hear more.

It dawns on Nicholas he will have to listen to the rest of Stokes’ disquisition. Screenshot by Dark Shadows Before I Die.

When Barnabas first enters Eve’s room, he thinks he sees a figure in her bed, only to find that there are pillows piled up under the covers. Angelique pulled that on him in #403, and Julia did the same thing in #291. Longtime viewers are left wondering when he will fall for the same trick a fourth time.

I do wish writer Gordon Russell had called on his frequent collaborator Violet Welles for help with this one. There are four or five nice laughs, but the tone immediately subsides back to seriousness between them. Welles had a gift for glittering dialogue that could have kept us chuckling throughout.