Episode 381: Of his own will

In 1795, wicked witch Angelique, spurned by rich young gentleman Barnabas Collins, has made Barnabas’ fianceé Josette and his uncle/ best friend Jeremiah fall in love with each other. This was supposed to be Barnabas and Josette’s wedding night; instead, Josette put on her bridal gown and ran off with Jeremiah.

Angelique has also used black magic to subject indentured servant Ben Stokes to her will. Ben is miserable to be part of Barnabas’ misfortune. He asks Angelique why, if she can force people to fall in love with each other, she doesn’t just force Barnabas to fall in love with her. She is appalled at the idea, and explains that it wouldn’t be the same. He must come to her of his own will. This was Barnabas’ constant refrain in episodes #262 through #365, when he was a vampire living in 1967 and was toying with the idea of seducing well-meaning governess Vicki. His blood thrall Willie and his accomplice, mad scientist Julia, both asked him why he didn’t just bite Vicki, to which he always answered that she would soon come to him of her own accord. This similarity is strong enough and strange enough that we suspect that Angelique will at some point cast a spell that replaces Barnabas’ personality with her own, so that what we have actually been watching since April is Angelique inhabiting Barnabas. That might explain why Barnabas has been so peculiarly diffident in his approach to women- Angelique may have been stuck in a male body for a long time, but she is still a heterosexual woman at heart, and she can’t bring herself to seduce Vicki.

My wife, Mrs Acilius, says that for her the major through-line of the episode is Josette’s father André and his perception of the Collins family. He has come from the Caribbean isle of Martinique in late autumn to central Maine, where it is dark at 2:30 PM. There, he has found that the family his daughter is supposed to marry into is headed by Joshua Collins, a tyrannical man who has vanished into thin air, and Joshua’s wife Naomi, who is an alcoholic. Joshua’s sister is a religious fanatic who is quick to accuse people of witchcraft, his brother has apparently run off with Josette, his daughter is a nine year old girl who takes more naps than the average newborn, and his cousin Millicent is permanently out to lunch. Also living in the house is a governess who just showed up one day and can’t explain where she came from, a Navy lieutenant who is flagrantly out to get every woman he meets into bed, and a convict whose work often takes him near the ladies’ bedrooms. Tonight,André accompanies Barnabas into the woods, where he finds him firing his pistol at a figure only he can see and carrying on a loud conversation with a voice only he can hear. If the dramatic date were somewhat later, he might also have been distressed to hear Barnabas mispronouncing Josette’s name as “Joan Jett.” He asks Barnabas if he is all right, and is not at all reassured when he screams that he is fine. It’s a wonder he doesn’t pack the whole family up and take the next ship back to the sunny south.

Mrs Acilius points out that the sanest adult André has met at Collinwood is Naomi. Perhaps this may have led him to think the root of the trouble is something wrong with the water- Naomi never touches that stuff.