Episode 1009: Remember the dead

The Graves of All Those Who Once Lived Here

The name “Barnabas Collins” has been coming up in the oddest circumstances around the estate of Collinwood. The only person of that name known to drunken sourpuss Quentin Collins, the master of the great house, was an ancestor of his who lived a long dull life and died a natural death in 1830. Quentin has decided that it is time to ask Barnabas’ spirit what’s going on. He wants housekeeper Julia Hoffman to join him and his late wife Angelique’s identical twin sister, Alexis Stokes, in a séance.

Hoffman is reluctant to participate, and when the invocation prompts theremin music to start playing in the background she breaks the circle of fingers and runs out of the drawing room. But Hoffman is not the most problematic participant. Alexis is not in fact present. Angelique returned from the dead, murdered her, and took her place. Unknown to Hoffman or to Quentin, it is the undead Angelique who is at the table with them.

“Alexis” tells Quentin that she felt a presence before Hoffman broke the circle, but that it is gone now. Suddenly a figure appears in the corner of the room. He identifies himself as the ghost of Joshua Collins, father of Barnabas. Joshua addresses his remarks to Quentin, ignoring “Alexis.” He says that Quentin knows all he needs to know about his son Barnabas, but that there is another entity at Collinwood, an evil that is at once living and dead. “Alexis” looks shocked and says “Living and dead? How can that be possible?” I suppose we should praise Lara Parker for resisting the temptation to pad her part by visibly squirming and playing up the fact that this describes her character precisely. She is giving the audience credit for the brains needed to make that connection. But if I wanted a show that gave me credit for brains, I wouldn’t watch Dark Shadows every evening, so I’m disappointed. I wish she were tugging on her collar and fidgeting like a Hank Azaria character on The Simpsons.

Joshua can’t be any more specific. This might have been OK had he just flickered into view for a few seconds, uttered his vague warning, and flickered out. We would then be left thinking of the awe-inspiring improbability of even the most fleeting communication between the living and the dead. But as Joshua, Louis Edmonds stands there for several minutes, in the same light as the other actors. They’ve had trouble with one of the microphones lately, occasionally making one actor sound like they are far away from the person standing next to them, but that microphone isn’t used in this scene. Both the audio and the video make it clear Joshua is occupying the same space as Quentin and “Alexis.” The result is an embarrassment for which writer Gordon Russell and director Henry Kaplan must share the blame.

This embarrassment is particularly disappointing under the circumstances. The scene is Edmonds’ first appearance since going off to play his part in the feature House of Dark Shadows after #990, and the first appearance of this Joshua Collins. Edmonds played another version of Joshua from November 1967 to March 1968, when Dark Shadows was set in a different universe. That Joshua figured in a costume drama segment set in the 1790s. He emerged as the central figure in a tragedy in the course of which his son Barnabas became a vampire and he had to decide what to do about him.

This Joshua never dealt with such a curse. The audience knows, if only because the opening voiceover told us, that the vampire Barnabas has crossed over into this universe, into this year 1970, and that he is at present trapped in a chained coffin in the basement of the home where the Joshua we meet today raised that other, luckier Barnabas. We last saw the other Joshua in #623, and longtime viewers will be excited at the idea of seeing Edmonds reprise the character who was perhaps his greatest triumph. To see him in such a debacle lets us down hard.

After Joshua leaves, Quentin and “Alexis” talk for a moment. Then Quentin’s brother Roger enters. Roger is also played by Louis Edmonds, but neither Quentin nor “Alexis” notices that he looks like Joshua. This works well enough, since Edmonds takes a very different posture and tone as Roger than he had as Joshua. Joshua was erect and stentorian, Roger curls to his left as he sits on the couch and purrs about how tedious it is to read about the life of the late Barnabas.

Quentin exits, and Roger talks with “Alexis.” He says that despite her resemblance to her sister, he never for a moment thought she was Angelique. In fact, when he first met the real Alexis he was utterly shocked, certain she was Angelique, and she had to work hard to bring him around. But Angelique doesn’t know about that, and Roger doesn’t want to remember it, so she just looks at him placidly while he goes on and on about how unlike anyone else Angelique was and how he knew her more intimately than anyone else could, even though she was married to Quentin.

I suppose Russell may have been trying to make a point by juxtaposing Joshua’s long pointless speech in which he keeps referring to Quentin’s responsibilities as the master of Collinwood with Roger’s long pointless speech in which he keeps referring to his mystical connection with his brother’s late wife. We saw in the 1790s segment that the Joshua of the other continuity was the victim of his own virtues. A forceful, dynamic man devoted to his family and its honor, he became a tyrant in pursuit of his worthy goals, and saw everyone he loved destroyed in part because of his haughtiness. As generation followed generation, Joshua’s misguided strength and brittle courage would yield to ever weaker, ever-softer descendants. Perhaps in the contrast between this Joshua’s attempt to help his successor use the authority he once held when he cannot impart any useful information and Roger’s fatuous pretense to have known Angelique uniquely well when he cannot recognize that he is talking to her we can see the same decline in this iteration of the Collins family.

The Legal Eagle

Meanwhile, mad scientist Cyrus Longworth has a problem of his own. Cyrus has developed a potion which, when he drinks it, transforms his appearance so drastically that even those closest to him cannot recognize him. When thus disguised, he calls himself “John Yaeger,” spends a lot of money, and beats people up. This makes him very happy, but now chemist Horace Gladstone, his connection for one of the potion’s vital ingredients, has learned his secret. Gladstone will not supply him with more of the ingredient or keep his mouth shut about Cyrus’ crimes unless he gets $10,000 in cash.

Cyrus’ lawyer, Larry Chase, comes to his laboratory. On Cyrus’ instructions, Larry has drawn up a will naming “Yaeger” as the sole beneficiary of Cyrus’ estate. Larry has met “Yaeger” and been appalled by him. He urges Cyrus to reconsider. Cyrus signs the papers and invites Larry to a late supper. Larry declines, saying that Horace Gladstone called him earlier and wants to meet him outside the Eagle tavern at 10 PM.

Larry was in the drawing room at Collinwood going over some papers with Quentin when he got Gladstone’s call. Cyrus’ newly drafted will fell out of Larry’s briefcase, and Quentin read through it while Larry was looking for another document. Quentin asked some questions about the will. Larry responded to the first by saying that he couldn’t talk about it, but thereafter blabbed away, revealing everything Quentin could want to know. With that level of regard for a client’s confidential communications, we aren’t surprised when Larry tells Cyrus who he is going to meet at what time in what place.

After Larry goes, Cyrus takes the potion, that is, puts on his disguise. He goes to the alley next to the Eagle, in which the sign for the Greenfield Inn hangs. He corners Gladstone there. He beats Gladstone to the pavement with his heavy cane. Gladstone begs for mercy, and Cyrus sneers at him. He releases the bayonet from inside the cane, stabbing Gladstone with it. The first time Cyrus took the potion, he had amnesia after he resumed his normal appearance, and we could believe that he was less than fully responsible for what he did while under its influence. But he has had his full memories on each subsequent occasion, and has shown pleasure when told of the harm “Yaeger” has done and the fear he inspires. By this point, we can classify Cyrus’ killing of Gladstone as nothing other than premeditated murder.

Cyrus doesn’t really surprise us by this act. It is Larry who does something we would not have expected. While Gladstone is in the alley, Larry is already in front of the tavern. We see enough of the set that we cannot believe he is more than 30 or 40 feet away from Gladstone, just around the corner. Gladstone cries out when “Yaeger” attacks him. We cut to Larry, and see him react to that cry and start towards the alley. “Yaeger” stands over Gladstone and pontificates for a minute or two before stabbing him. Even after that, “Yaeger” still has time to get most of the way out of the alley before Larry finally arrives. It took Joshua Collins less time to get from the abode of the dead to the drawing room at Collinwood than it takes Larry to walk the few steps from the sidewalk to the alley. Maybe he had to stop somewhere along the way to make some more announcements about a client’s business.